i want nice people to do bad things

I've never been in love with anyone I've never been in love with anyone, i've never even kissed a guy before. Every time i see some one with a boyfriend i automaticly try to find the girls faults and think why the guy is not with me, or any guy is not with me. i dont know how to find a boyfriend. i think im too short, to ugly... 3 times i've tried to kill my self, with out anyone knowing.. (taking lots of pills) i cut my stomach so no one see's because i never wear anything that shows my stomach. I seem happy to people around me, but i feel really angry all the time.. i often think of killing people, and i am obsessed with serial killers and horror movies. i like older male actors, (thats not really a problem but people think it is weird).. i would call the childrens help line but i think my promblem is not seriouse enough... compared to people being abused or whatever any comments will help

I've never been in love with anyone I've never been in love with anyone, i've never even kissed a gu...

book to read "Dark secrets part 2" What to you do when there's no room for honesty?

book to read "Dark secrets part 2" What to you do when there's no room for honesty?

Comming to work on drugs I had a horrible low paying job as an ambulance driver for a mental hospital when I was going to college nights. I had two co workers who were not worth a damn and who made a bad job overall much worse. One guy didn't show up on time, took more than the alotted time on break and left early. Sometimes he failed to even show up. The other guy was worse if thats possible. He had seven children living with him and his wife and he was trying to live off of our very horrible salary. One day the guy with the kids came in on some drug. He apparently got the idea that he was a sort of supernatural being and he wanted to start his own religion. He fancied himself "the black messiah" His religion was apparently based on free sexual love and drugs. One day he came to work and announced that he was never comming to work there again. Big loss. He was on the way to being fired anyway. When the summer rolled around I put in a two weeks notice and quit myself. I eventually got another better job but I never forgot those days.

Comming to work on drugs I had a horrible low paying job as an ambulance driver for a mental hospita...