my feelings were hurt when R said to us "you will die before you have that new kitchen finished". I don't say that to others. I know I need a job. I just want a part time job at the present time. I don't think you are award of just how much pain I am in every moment of every day. Lately I hit the paracetamol packets due to just shocking leg and back pain and feet ache and everything ache. I need the sort of massage that would last a week with heavy blades for gua sha. I went to the Christmas party for the womens victims of violence group and the whole time I was in pain and its so hot when I got there I just wear the dangy cloths because I am fat and ugly and I don't pretend to be a happy lady when I am in pain and have no comforting hands of help to reduce the pain other then a few massages a year and I really need more work done. I just really need some guys to help me move heavy furniture and I am stressed out because a while ago someone was trying to break in to our house again and my father caught them and then today again chairs I had recovered had been moved. we have had so many break ins in here from the day we moved in here. these guys were in our yard one night and we had the doors open and we went up stairs and when we came back all the stuffing of a big cushion looked like it had been knife hacked open and stuffing everywhere over the floor. we have had heaps of things like that. no one cares about me, my relatives never give me the support I need. I have to go to a organisation for that. no one helps me in this pain and fear.