my vagina will never be the same as before rape. I have had surgery there and I bleed now with each examination or pap smear. The skin tears with each period and during the cycle. I find it hard to even masturbate without bleeding later. I don't use sex toys either. No matter how hygienic I am, just the lubrication or sanitary napkin makes the outside area bleed. My doctors are cunts and don't do a thing to help me about it or anything wrong really. They don't talk to me about things. Its always go slow with relationships and study, to the point you have no relationships or study or life. I don't understand it. I think they are the stupid ones. My mother went through this and so did my sister. Doctors don't like you complaining to them and all they want to hear is positive talk all the time.