sometimes I am sick of study and I told the college I need another holiday asap.

feel worthless, i feel like my life is worthless, and the saddest part is that i couldn't care less. i hear about death, disease, starvation, the death of someone i know, but i couldn't care less. i've moved over 10 times, but each time i have to switch places and friends i just ignore my previous friends like they don't exist, and they might as well not exist because i don't care about them anymore. All i can do to make this emptiness and disappointment in myself go away is hang out with my friends, play video games, watch TV, read a book, etc. i enjoy myself while i'm doing these things, but when they end and i am left alone, i feel emptiness again, almost as though nothing happened. this is the reason i feel worthlessness. not because i have done something wrong, but because i have done nothing at all. i try to make myself feel like my life has value. i work out, go to class, volunteer, and countless other things, but i still feel like it all means nothing. part of the problem is dreams. i dream of what i want to be, but dreams don't mean anything. dreams are worthless if they can't be fulfilled, and perhaps i expect too much out of myself. perhaps i expect my life to be greater than it really could be at this age (20), but i feel like it should be more than this boredom. i would like to give my life value so i can feel like i am accomplishing something, but i don't know what there is that is worth doing. i look around; i talk to people; i hate them for doing more than me. for being so stupid and doing more than me. but most of all, i hate them for not being like me; for not realizing how little their lives mean. but i guess it's selfish to want people as miserable as me just so i feel less alone. in the end, all i have is misery. all i have are comforts that are momentary. people talk about americans living for instant gratification, but that isn't what i live for. i live for instant amnesia. for moments of happiness that make me forget just how miserable i was and will be once i am alone again.

feel worthless, i feel like my life is worthless, and the saddest part is that i couldn't care less...

I can't handle life. That's a fact. I dislike it how life tends to be unfair, but at the same time since we're human we may never understand God's way. Our minds are so limited and we're so narrow-minded so why do we question things that will just make us more mad or sad? We're just stubborn and selfish people. That seriously sucks. I wish so badly that things of this world could change, but change doesn't just happen, it begins in the people first. Everyone hurts, everyone feels sorrow, everyone feels joy, so why do we act like we're the only ones that go through certain situations when there is always someone else out there that's in a more worse condition than us? I dislike it how just living in the U.S./cali sheltered me and put this comfortable living on my life. Though its a blessing it's hard for me to step out of my comfort zone and just pray with a pure and genuine heart for those that need it or want to feel God's true love and never feel empty again. Even though I sometimes say I hate people or even church, I still love them because I kno no one is perfect. So to love people or someone I hate is something that I gain 10x more than loving someone that loves me back.

I can't handle life. That's a fact. I dislike it how life tends to be unfair, but at the same time s...

i constantly dwell on my poor actions, the past, and any other problems that i have. It keeps me up late at night, and i cant sleep. i try to talk to friends, but i feel alone still. i dont know what to do anymore and its hurting my grades, and affecting my perspective on life...and i'm just going crazy. i feel like i'm going to break down and cry.

i constantly dwell on my poor actions, the past, and any other problems that i have. It keeps me up ...