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Teenage shame As a teen my great uncle forced himself on me and attacked me pushed against him and forced a kiss and I pushed him away and said no, and I was determined to stand up to him and fight him with all my fear and the weakness and patheticness of 14 year old body after 10 years of sexual abuse from him I had completely had enough. at this time my sister had boyfriends sleeping in her bed and kicking me out of bedrooms for their love time, and I could not find that sort of love but had my great uncle and then my other uncle sexually assaulting me and even hitting me and stalking and spying on me which is over and above what anyone should have to put up. but when I was bashed at school and had a collapse at school after that incident I ended up falling into a pit of h***, I don't know if it was because of the glass I might have swallowed, but I collapsed at school in cramps and vomited which still frightens me today. that only shameful sad and fearful person inside of me. I left school, due to poverty and nervous breakdown and basicly hung my head in shame for the next 5-10 years after. I felt unpretty, unsexy, a failure, helpless and deeply hurting. no one cared and I was angry and I am still angry today that men have ignored me when I was a teen and rejected me so much, and I am sick of these old men who should have got off their a***-holes to like me and be of support to me back when I was a teen and young adult. people let me down everywhere. I am angry at NR because I have to ask him if he really thinks he is worth it after so much time has past why does he think he is the ultimate man.. when I made like the DO more now. and NR is more like my sister then me. I don't think katy realized how much her trying to run me over and bashing into me would cause me such distress and long term health problems. being raped was the worst thing and the stroke/heart attack afterwards My sister used to throw my handbag and university bag around the shopping Centre and hit me. she used to attack me in my teen years with telephones and shoes. I am a very ill person due to her abuse. I am sick of being my sisters torture dolly since the day I was born. I think she forgets I have had my heartbreaks and hurts as well. I was raped as a virgin and she was not. and I am 100% certain she was not abused by my great uncle who was in this 70s and 80s as much as I was. she has been married now 3 times and she is going back to her Filipino husband in oct. but I have never been married I struggled with a fear of young men as much as with older men. I am sick from old men letching onto me. and I have had to fight my fears of being good enough for young men or for even feeling safe with them as they are not really my sexual comfort zone. I want to learn to trust young men. I am tired of joyce telling me that young men would be too aggressive for me and she can handle their sexual desires better then I can and she gives me old men mostly or weird men. I want to find a husband to have a baby before I die. and I like this guy DO... I need to find love of my own before its too late. whereas my sister has been married several times and had boyfriends in her bed as a teen and I have not, but for being raped as a virgin at the age of 29... which is sooo embarrassing. I have a lot of issues to over come and I want to be with a man who I love ... its not fair I have been so abused when I am a good person and people have made out I am bad or spastic and I am not. I may not be the most clever or rich or prettiest, but no one is anyway, but that does not make me the most rotten... yet I feel rotten inside, I feel ugly and I am sick of being everyone's dog. I am sick of being pawed and raped at by violent old or fat married men in their 40s...this goes back to when I was in my early 20s, and being ignored by guys my own age. I want to be forever young and experience a romance that means something to me, and mutual love and attraction. now I have shame over STDs and being raped. I feel like no nice young man will want me now. I have suffered enough sexual bullying from relatives.

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Teenage shame As a teen my great uncle forced himself on me and attacked me pushed against him and forced a kiss and I pushed him away and said no, and I was determined to stand up to him and fight him with all my fear and the weakness and patheticness of 14 year old body after 10 years of sexual abuse from him I had completely had enough. at this time my sister had boyfriends sleeping in her bed and kicking me out of bedrooms for their love time, and I could not find that sort of love but had my great uncle and then my other uncle sexually assaulting me and even hitting me and stalking and spying on me which is over and above what anyone should have to put up. but when I was bashed at school and had a collapse at school after that incident I ended up falling into a pit of h***, I don't know if it was because of the glass I might have swallowed, but I collapsed at school in cramps and vomited which still frightens me today. that only shameful sad and fearful person inside of me. I left school, due to poverty and nervous breakdown and basicly hung my head in shame for the next 5-10 years after. I felt unpretty, unsexy, a failure, helpless and deeply hurting. no one cared and I was angry and I am still angry today that men have ignored me when I was a teen and rejected me so much, and I am sick of these old men who should have got off their a***-holes to like me and be of support to me back when I was a teen and young adult. people let me down everywhere. I am angry at NR because I have to ask him if he really thinks he is worth it after so much time has past why does he think he is the ultimate man.. when I made like the DO more now. and NR is more like my sister then me. I don't think katy realized how much her trying to run me over and bashing into me would cause me such distress and long term health problems. being raped was the worst thing and the stroke/heart attack afterwards My sister used to throw my handbag and university bag around the shopping Centre and hit me. she used to attack me in my teen years with telephones and shoes. I am a very ill person due to her abuse. I am sick of being my sisters torture dolly since the day I was born. I think she forgets I have had my heartbreaks and hurts as well. I was raped as a virgin and she was not. and I am 100% certain she was not abused by my great uncle who was in this 70s and 80s as much as I was. she has been married now 3 times and she is going back to her Filipino husband in oct. but I have never been married I struggled with a fear of young men as much as with older men. I am sick from old men letching onto me. and I have had to fight my fears of being good enough for young men or for even feeling safe with them as they are not really my sexual comfort zone. I want to learn to trust young men. I am tired of joyce telling me that young men would be too aggressive for me and she can handle their sexual desires better then I can and she gives me old men mostly or weird men. I want to find a husband to have a baby before I die. and I like this guy DO... I need to find love of my own before its too late. whereas my sister has been married several times and had boyfriends in her bed as a teen and I have not, but for being raped as a virgin at the age of 29... which is sooo embarrassing. I have a lot of issues to over come and I want to be with a man who I love ... its not fair I have been so abused when I am a good person and people have made out I am bad or spastic and I am not. I may not be the most clever or rich or prettiest, but no one is anyway, but that does not make me the most rotten... yet I feel rotten inside, I feel ugly and I am sick of being everyone's dog. I am sick of being pawed and raped at by violent old or fat married men in their 40s...this goes back to when I was in my early 20s, and being ignored by guys my own age. I want to be forever young and experience a romance that means something to me, and mutual love and attraction. now I have shame over STDs and being raped. I feel like no nice young man will want me now. I have suffered enough sexual bullying from relatives.
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This girl Norma is 26 yrs. old and has lived across the street from me for about 6 years. She lives with her mother and during the summer her mother pays me to cut the grass and when it snows shovel the driveway. I'm 18 and this summer Norma started all over again. Her mom is at work when I cut the grass and Norma always had me come in for ice tea or lemon aide. I've been doing this for two years and every once in awhile Norma would ask me to show her my penis. I know she isn't to smart and she isn't very pretty at all and I always said no. This past June she started asking me almost begging me to take my clothes off for her. She just kept saying she wanted to look at me naked. It was the beginning of July when she said she would pay me 10 dollars if I would let her see me naked. I said ok and took my shirt and shorts off and just pulled my underwear down for her to see me penis. She kept begging me to take them off and when I did she had me turn around a couple times. Then she asked if she could touch it and as soon as she did I got a hard on. She just put her hand around it and when I got the erection she let go of it. I'm not sure why I wasn't embarrassed and asked her if she wanted me to jerk off and all she said was "sure". She had been asking me to strip for her for a long time and now I wish I did before. I liked her looking at me and the way she watched me jerk off turned me on more. The rest of the summer I did this whenever I cut their grass and 5 times when I saw her out front and she asked if I wanted to come over. I never took any money from after the first time knowing she didn't have a job that year. She never asked to touch me again but just liked looking at my body. I always knew she was weird and never saw her with a guy or having a boyfriend. She made me swear I wouldn't tell her mother which I never would anyhow. She sits on a chair when I do this always on the enclosed patio in the yard. And has me stand real close to her and hold my penis up to look at my balls. She has had me bend over and pull my cheeks apart to look at my anus which is really weird. She seems fascinated with looking at my genitals and hardly ever looks me in the eyes. When I am masturbating she is always intent watching me ejaculate and only asks me if it feels good. I have fun doing it but wonder why a girl her age is so desperate to see a guys privates. Her mom is a real nice lady and a friend of my mom. I think Norma is a little backward and strange but I know she is always happy to see me even when I'm not naked.

This girl Norma is 26 yrs. old and has lived across the street from me for about 6 years. She lives...

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I confess...i was dating a young man for 1 year and he wasn't treating me well, at a point i decided to a another guy a chance. In a week a had sex with both of them and got pregnant. I have a baby boy now but don't really who is the real father. The first man has been taking responsibilty of the child but he stil have doubt about the paternity of the baby.

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Harvey was my grandmom's brother in law and I have known him all my life. I always called him uncle and was raised by my grandmom who died 4 years ago. I didn't know it but he owned the house we were living in. His wife was also deceased and since 2016 I have been living with him in the same house I grew up in. I always liked and got along with Harvey who was always considered part of the family. I was comfortable living with him right from the start. He's 77 years old and up until 8 months ago never saw me nude. He did see me in night clothes and in my bathing suit but never saw me completely undressed. Last year I broke up with a boyfriend I had been dating for over 3 years. I was very busy with work putting in many hours a week and my only outlet for sex was to masturbate. I'm 30 and began using a vibrator I bought online and within a few months had a drawer full of vibrators and dildo's. Harvey went away for a week 9 months ago telling me he would be back the following Sunday. That Friday I didn't get home til about 9pm and after I showered I laid in my bed naked and began stimulating myself with a few vibrator devices I have. I have massage type and penis shaped vibrators and am usually able to orgasm a few times using them. I must have spent at least a half hour satisfying myself and when I sat up Harvey was standing at my bedroom door which I never bothered to close and lock like I normally did thinking he was away until Sunday. I was in shocked not knowing he came home that day and so embarrassed I started to cry. Harvey just stood there roaring in laughter and clapping his hands. He pulled the door shut and walked away leaving me in tears and humiliation. Saturday morning I was afraid to go downstairs not knowing what I could possibly say to him. I finally built up the courage to face him and sheepishly went into the kitchen still embarrassed. Right away he told me to relax and said I was still young and had every right to masturbate and it was OK and healthy to do so. Then he began telling me how much he enjoyed watching me telling me he was at the door for 20 minutes. Then he began asking me about the devices I used meaning my vibrators. The conversation ended with him saying maybe I would show them to him sometime. The following weekend he asked me when I would show him my "toys" but I was still to embarrassed to even talk about them. a few weeks went by and he occasionally asked to see them and it was exactly 8 months ago this past Saturday I took him to my room and showed him all the things I had, a total of 14. He looked at them intently and some he turned on. Most of the vibrators are battery powered but 2 plug into a socket. He started asking questions about them saying he never saw any of this stuff before. Then he started pointing out that I orgasmed twice using the pink penis shape one and that the purple one was the one I had in my butt. It embarrassed me when he said all that but I have to admit I began getting wet and was aroused by the way he was talking about it. Then he began telling me how much he enjoyed watching me that night and asked if I could let him watch me again. I just told him how humiliating it was the night he caught me then he gave me a bunch of reasons for me to let him watch me again. During the next week every day Harvey asked to watch me and I knew now he was serious about it. that Friday night I worked late again and as soon as I got out of the shower Harvey was standing at my bedroom door. I had a large towel around me and all he did was wink at me and ask me to leave the door open. I thought he was kidding at first and went in my room shutting the door. He then knocked on the door and again asked me to leave it open. I don't know what came over me but just thought about how old he is and in a way it kind of excited me thinking about letting him watch me. It was like I was in a trance all the sudden. I took out most of my vibrators and as though he wasn't there took off the towel and laid down naked on the bed. Right away I was embarrassed but was aroused knowing he was there. I was so wet by then I didn't need a lubricant to start masturbating and soon inserted the pink vibrator into myself and without asking Harvey walked into my room and stood at the foot of my bed. I couldn't understand it at the time but I was so humiliated yet so excited and aroused I began to orgasm almost immediately. Eventually I inserted the smaller vibrator into my rectum and continued having orgasms and being embarrassed at the same time. After about 15 or 20 minutes I laid there exhausted and Harvey kept looking at my body with a broad grin on his face. He then said good night and said thank you before leaving the room. Each weekend since then either Friday or Saturday I let him watch me, that is until 5 months ago. It was a Friday again and as I was masturbating he just leaned over and took the vibrator out of my hand and began satisfying me. My orgasms by this time were so strong I often wanted to scream and probably have a few times. It still goes on every weekend and I am overly aroused with him masturbating me but am still embarrassed. He has slowly taken control and at times he has me in humiliating positions. When he does this I am usually so stimulated I do whatever he pleases. I don't ever want to have sex with him and doubt he would be able anyhow. I am almost positive he is impotent and often look to see if he has an erection. He doesn't ever undress but often is in pajamas and never has a bulge in his pants. 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Harvey was my grandmom's brother in law and I have known him all my life. I always called him uncle ...

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