Please forgive me for secretly steeling you password and reading you

Please forgive me for secretly steeling you password and reading you emails and snooping around your facebook account

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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

Someone recently passed away and i've been feeling so sad because of this, but the weird part is that, i wasn't close to that person at all, i didn't know anything about him other than his name and what he did for a living, yet my heart feels heavy and somewhat guilty. It almost feels as if i lost someone that was so close to my heart, like we knew each other for a very long time, i have this weird need to tell him that i love him, not like in a romantic way, but as if him and i have been long lost best friends, even though his is gone from this world i have to say "i love you, you did well my friend." I feel the need to look at his pictures and videos, and when i do that, i feel so happy but so sad at the same time, and strangely enough, we were similar in personalities from what i have been finding out about him. Isn't it funny how life works? I knew who he was and what he did for a living but never felt the need to be closer to him or get to know him for that matter, but when i found out what had happen and the reason why it happend, i started crying nonstop pretty much til this day, but i have this weird feeling that i knew this person for years. The first time i saw him i said to myself, haven't i seen you before because you look really familiar? And a big smile appeared on my face, and i continued with my life as usual never thought that the next time i would hear from him would be because of his life ending in such a sad way. I just wanna know why my heart feels so heavy when i never knew this person well enough or was close to him but yet a strange feeling of knowing him for ages always comes to me, but i wasn't there for him. Is it stupid to feel so sad for someone that i didn't really now? I keep grabbing my pillow and hugging it so tight in my arms as if it was him, as if he could feel it, i know that he wont feel it because he is gone but i keep trying to convince myself that somehow he would, so stupid right?

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