how could I without a job get a boyfriend or husband?

my therapist told me to be verbally abusive and angry and rude and moody to people and make them see what they have caused. he told me to attack people as much as possible to let out my pain and anger. so I do towards everyone now. he told me to do it so I.

my therapist told me to be verbally abusive and angry and rude and moody to people and make them see...

how come you find it so hard to believe that two old friends could get together and decide "i'm sick of being an abused woman, i always shoulda been a boy" and the friend saying "yeh well i always wanted to be a woman so lets really do the deed then and fix everyone?" i couldn't do that but what makes you think two wealthy clever high profile people couldn't or wouldn't do that and be laughing at everyone! this whole elton john and david furnish and diana conspiracy thing? I couldn't want to be a guy but you know it always offended me the way my bitch of a older sister slut always was the one who only could wear fucking pink! and I was not allowed to for some reason, cuz she wanted to be the only girl in the family. and you know I am fucking sick of this whore doing her dirty do dog act at me when she is con, she bashes her husbands with brooms and has attacked me, just about all my family have physically bashed me at some point for no particular reason. they never care about my needs as a woman or needing a husband or children. I am always caring about them but they don't care for me, my selfish mother is gonna die in the next 20 or what years time and all this "be a good girl and nice to people like the dirty catholic church told me to be" has allowed all thepedos and abuses go on against me. when my brother and sister are completely selfish people who have no real religion in them what so ever, why do you find it so hard to believe people could say "I am done with you or your shit"?

how come you find it so hard to believe that two old friends could get together and decide "i'm sick...

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am going to up and bloody murder a whole group of people starting with in my own house. I am sick of being everyones fat dog joke that can't find a husband when a nurse said to me the other day- from everything you have told me you been through with illness and rape and child sexual abuse for all those years and all your mother can do is expect you to sleep her bed clean her house have no friends or man, live like some pig and your father couldn't even been bothere to protect you from a pedo or these bashers, you been this pillar of strength for everyone around you and what about you? your 45 no kids, no husband, no job, no car no house never had a real boyfriend even fat shamed then thin shamed accused of being a gym junkie for 2 x a week light gentle exercise is not a ocd, and she said "you are a great person and don't like any one not any person convince you are shit and deserve to be abused or all this negative shit of joyce or rick or katy or ken or relatives, you're the one who has self sacrificed over and over watching and help people around you get dates and love and babies and when your sick who is there to help you? who is there to care for you when all your life you cared for others too dam much! your the one up worried about bills while your mother and father sleeps like a lamb" they aren't worried about who will care for them and when they are gone are they gonna care for you? you have to be selfish and make it clear to people you deserve a husband and a baby and get out of your way you mean business" and just attck them, bash them if you have to. these people abused you bashed you for no reason. they are to blame they should be made to fix the problem. " I never fucked up anyones like, I never went out of my way to ruin anyones like, sure I might have got angry and hurt and I am even more so today. my needs are not listened to and the nurse said I have to make people- so I will I will threated to murder and attack people if I have to. people did it to me so do it back!

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am goin...