I am wondering if I make stupid decisions over and over again when it comes to money and life choices that I think will be helpful and I read the advice labels etc and panic and I think later why am I constantly making what seems like good or sound caution and safe decisions most of the time but for a few which I do think were done completely irrationally in a state of shock, fear and phobia, why does most of my more seemingly logical cautious decisions end up looking stupid later, like I thought I was doing the right thing going to therapy when the issues arouse as a teen and at university and now realise I should have just projected my problems on to others unconsciously and bashed girls to get men and got drunk and gone out to night clubs more not been so cautious, and all the pharmacy and legal and business and allied health certificates etc just been a waste of time like university was. its strange that not many man valued what I value and they didn't think "well she is worth dating" I am confused!

I am wondering if I make stupid decisions over and over again when it comes to money and life choices that I think will be helpful and I read the advice labels etc and panic and I think later why am I constantly making what seems like good or sound caution and safe decisions most of the time but for a few which I do think were done completely irrationally in a state of shock, fear and phobia, why does most of my more seemingly logical cautious decisions end up looking stupid later, like I thought I was doing the right thing going to therapy when the issues arouse as a teen and at university and now realise I should have just projected my problems on to others unconsciously and bashed girls to get men and got drunk and gone out to night clubs more not been so cautious, and all the pharmacy and legal and business and allied health certificates etc just been a waste of time like university was. its strange that not many man valued what I value and they didn't think "well she is worth dating" I am confused!
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so this lawyer who has all these nazi 3rd Reich huge books in his cabinet was interviewing and openly masturbating himself on the other side of the desk while talking to me, that was weird, I admit I for a change took advantage of my weight loss and wore a short shift dress that was beige and crepe material and I loved the dress i couldnt believe I had the confidence to wear it or i was that thin because I was so shy and sexually un-informed or just not a flirty woman, but now and then I do dress up a bit to build up my confidence but that was a shock to me, and it was un-nerving for some really fat old guy to do that and the cops had just left because he sacked the receptionist and there had been some break in so I was like "I don't think this is the right job for me anyway", I mean I am so sexually shy it more likely to me the type to have secret crushes on men and masturbate in private its not that that really offended its the whole scene it was like some dream it strange and I was shocked a professional would openly do that at a meeting and he was strange with all the nazi stuff I would sooner talk that crap down. and it was a dodgy area at springwood. bloody strange. to openly do that at an interview its my god, man, at least you could wait til I leave, and he was acting like it was just normal ???? to do that in public ? it was no compliment anyway. he was old and married and strange. I don't think I could work in that.

so this lawyer who has all these nazi 3rd Reich huge books in his cabinet was interviewing and openl...