it hurts and its confusing when people tell you "your not allowed to like this prince or that pop star or actor or that sports person or that businessmen or that doctor etc" its confusing why are some girls allowed to put posters up of their favourite star or teacher or and yet I am not, as if I am some lesbian and I not allowed to show want for romance or love, because asian lisa said "being love and marrying turns you away from your relationship with god"???? confusing? because some people feel more the presence of god by being in a marriage or inlove, and certainly having a baby, like to me a baby is like a gift from god, like my pets, I mean if I did have an abortion or miscarriage after I was raped with all the medications I was on and the over heavy period I had, to be honest I am glad because it would not have felt like it was from god, or through love. I am sick of people telling who I am allowed to like and who I am not allowed to like. don't look at him, don't ask for help, stop looking to be rescued to the point when i was bashed going to university i felt too lame and shamed, too coward and like i was weak if i had told the police officer that was sitting near me in the train that day that I had just been assaulted, I didn't want to tell because I was embarrased I would burst into tears about being bashed or that I would be looking to be rescued asking for help, It was a waste of time going to joyce about the pedo she never took it seriously right from day 1. just would not let me talk about it at all. that was confusing.