my doctor told me to go and have a way down and read for a while if my back starts aching, often I just have to ignore it and work and walk through the pain, I mean you can't sit at home or lay down when it is painful and appreciate it after you been out but I often just keep working and walking because the pain will be there anyway. its like bad period pain all the time so I don't even notice my period pain unless its really server like a few months back it was and I woke up my mum and said, "ah, am I going to die ?" the pain was so bad. i hate it like yesterday I had migraine and I thought I was going to vomit and the neck aches with it, todays the first day I have been out in a week since the surgery because everytime I got up it just started bleeding again. and I had to postpone my back/brain surgeon appt cuz I just can not afford all these surgical procedures at once and I pay top cover hospital with top extras and they won't cover a surgical procedure with the gyno for byopsies or my back surgeon. my cat gets more paid for them on his pet insurance then I do on my health fund. I added obstretrics incase I do have a baby. - as if- a mirical would have to happen! I am so ugly and old and so worried about my health. I want a baby desperately and marriage to feel normal. its just so immoral that people have kids and don't appreciate it and here is me I want children and marriage and I want to work part-time. I just don't need russo nazi agression bullying over work.