i am really worried about my mum she is on beta blockers and i was on them a few years ago some beta blockers mixed with another drug can cure cancer but being on them was hell. I couldn't walk and I had to lean on my mum a lot to just walk as a huge effort when i was sick. I am so worried about the plague in her lungs and her cough and weezing, and her elevated kidney issues are different to mine, that is why she had to go off her blood pressure medication and change. I just am worried. my dad smoked a lot around her and us as kids. he is the one who should lung problems not us. some days I am struggling to get full lung copacity and i follow this new wave exhaling technique which involves breathing in less oxygen but I do need some, as well and doctors have been trying to push me and my mother on to ventilin and asthma sprays for ages and i won't do it. i can't afford to risk the heart aspect of it unless they come up with something better. I can't bare being near people who smoke. I find smoking one of the most offensive acts out. i have seen people dying in hospital holding on to gas masks in waiting rooms falling asleep or dead for that matter in behind closed doors in waiting areas they like to hide you in and you hear really sick emergency patients with pnemonia chocking in rooms and everytime i see some loser smoking i feel like saying to them 'well mate when your dying gasping for air you will regret it" you can put it down to my own self inner wisdom having whooping cough a few times and swine flu but I don't want to get sick. i have to have more ultrasounds and the other ones came back clear but people have no idea of the pain i live in. doctors are supposed to treat pain. that is their oath. what about emotional pain and the loss of romance and marriage and children and constantly being bashed and moved on by men. first in best dressed is how men think so I do it back now in everything.