we are a family who don't know how to have fun or branch out of time tables and schedules and routine daily things.

we are a family who don't know how to have fun or branch out of time tables and schedules and routine daily things.

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you will find rose and dad are worse then me and mum we are the family of the "no fun police" no one has fun here! the most excitement we had was a few years ago midnight mass and one new years eve was looking at the psychic channel and no alcohol we were so bored senseless and a bunch of more the debbie downers here, rose beats all the debbie downers out. dad is in bed by 7pm and read a lot do exercise equipment and the place is a mess. how could it be otherwise with no help. I have to do it all and go to support group to learn how to be human again.

you will find rose and dad are worse then me and mum we are the family of the "no fun police" no one...

i feel guilty about the food i have eaten today breakfast i had 1/4 cup of oats and berries (because i am fat) morning tea i had a maderine lunch i had a crumbed sausage and some yogurt and madarine, afternoon tea i had some crispbread and vegimite dinner i had lean steak and veg and fruit pudding and custard and I feel guilty like a gormandising glutton. i feel guilty for every bit of food i eat, last night i had a small roll with herbs and felt guilty. water is the only thing i don't feel guilty about, or tea with milk.

i feel guilty about the food i have eaten today breakfast i had 1/4 cup of oats and berries (becaus...

I have told mum I don't want her speaking to any of her family to teach them a lesson for abusing me. mum agrees and so does dad, rose never liked them more then me, rose has hate for them all. we won't go to weddings or parties or baby things as a statement of how they abuse me, I told one cousin she did nothing to help what so ever, the whole time never offered to help get work or social support to meet people and it was clearly obvious that with my father without a job we had little social connections all those years and they did nothing, and Its clear I am the ugliest and most unsexy woman that ever existed and we never wanted to be around the men that were pushed at me most were not right for my personality or interests at the time and were too old and boring when I was young and I never wanted to be near ken and couldn't love a fat ugly dog droppings of a dirty rapist that couldn't even get medical treatment to me when any honest person would have. I never loved any of the men because most of them were too slow and would not make the first step and show interest in a timely fashion in a way that suited me, russel and ken assaulted me as did a few other loser deadbeat uglies, frank was a bully and the only half way normal guy i liked at college, the ones I really liked never looked at me and I was afraid to even look at them or they were abusive cuz some spastic told them to abuse me which made me hate them real quick. I can hate so quick and hard as i can like. and once i dislike i am like my mum we don't give in. and we are self disciplined and expect others to be. and with me you have to jump within a short range of time if you don't go through the loops quick enough your gone! do one thing wrong your gone! I grow to hate most people like my parents have as well. they hate everyone they knew. so does rose. she is the biggest hater out! people don't want to jump to my tune and i don't want kids as much as i used to because its a statement about being rejected. when women are rejected by society and men they turn sour on everyone. I can hate anyone and not care! i only have to answer to god no one else i was told in support group.

I have told mum I don't want her speaking to any of her family to teach them a lesson for abusing me...