now the party is over and its night I feel so empty and can't rest and have to work tomorrow

now the party is over and its night I feel so empty and can't rest and have to work tomorrow
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this morning I felt a strange feeling because I deliberately waited a while before taking my alprazalm and sometimes I have dreams of shaking and my heart races and I know I need to take the alprazalm quickly and drink a fair bit of water to ease risk of heart pain. but I get these tap turned on sensations that are not nice sometimes in the heart area and I don't know they done ecgs and cardio-ultrasounds and that 24hr monitor but I don't get them when I have those things its usually any other day right, its like a psychological thing run to the hospital as soon as you feel like "hell I think I'm gonna die with heart rhythm changes or whatever" and once I am there and have a monitor on my heart I am ok most times, I learnt to bounce around the bed to get discharged one day, but yeh today it was scary I really don't know what the sensation is it is GERD or digestion ? I don't know. they keep telling my heart is ok but I never believe them. its like from the time 2 women i knew died of a strange cancer I just had it in my head I was gonna get it when I had a weird vomiting and rash bout every period and server neck pain and then I had to have all these MRIs from brain, neck back, etc this test and that tests and I still want more tests its like nothing will convince me unless I understand it myself and I am hopeless at reading xrays anyway teeth xrays would be about my limit really.

this morning I felt a strange feeling because I deliberately waited a while before taking my alpraza...