yeh that is what computers do to you, make you fight with everyone.

we have all had cancer and surgery and illnesses here and there is no wage coming in this house other then pensions and no fit man to clean things while they next door have 2 wages coming in have cars and she roots around like whore with other men, like a jezabell whore without any consideration for any single women here. my sisters husband is in the filipenas having surgery for piles and stomach boils and he was forced to look after his sick father and all this family have abused him, my sister and him deserve their time together after all they have been through he is a filipena good man my sister tells me, with a daughter and I have begged the govt to allow him here my sister to be with him, he has graduated and worked on a bike and looking after his sick father and as a political minder in filipenas and she said he is the love her life and she will not let him go for anything. he is a black man and its her choice. I need a husband myself but I don't want a black man, I want a white husband, I always thought I would marry an academic or professional and he would be my prince charming, might not be everyones idea of that but he will be my idea of that. I wanted a career and children and house of my own and better health, I always looked after my health and its only because no one would give my mother or father a job we have been poor I can't afford a car and pretty hair to attract a man, I also have been black listed for a long time, I used to wonder why I went to so many legal and hospital jobs and knocked back, so did my father he wondered why he was knocked back from work. it has dinted his pride and mine also. just like not finding a husband has mentally effected me and I am sick of being told that because I am ill with a back injury and overweight or what men won't want me, or that i am not good enough for a white man or professional man. I study a lot. I could have graduated from 1 degree I decided not to if I couldn't complete law due to being bashed so much and illness I didnt want to graduate and look beaten down by everything but joyce wanted me to have nothing. she said that so much. I don't know why she could not bare to see me with a handsome young man the way david gave my sister a beautiful wedding and child when she was young. I had the same right as everyone to have that as well. I want a church wedding and its mentally effected me deeply. the scars are deep and pain probably cant be completely repaired that joyce and russo created! I should have had the right to have an advocate on my side like everyone else in the family who was helped to marry.

we have all had cancer and surgery and illnesses here and there is no wage coming in this house othe...

my doctor told me to go and have a way down and read for a while if my back starts aching, often I just have to ignore it and work and walk through the pain, I mean you can't sit at home or lay down when it is painful and appreciate it after you been out but I often just keep working and walking because the pain will be there anyway. its like bad period pain all the time so I don't even notice my period pain unless its really server like a few months back it was and I woke up my mum and said, "ah, am I going to die ?" the pain was so bad. i hate it like yesterday I had migraine and I thought I was going to vomit and the neck aches with it, todays the first day I have been out in a week since the surgery because everytime I got up it just started bleeding again. and I had to postpone my back/brain surgeon appt cuz I just can not afford all these surgical procedures at once and I pay top cover hospital with top extras and they won't cover a surgical procedure with the gyno for byopsies or my back surgeon. my cat gets more paid for them on his pet insurance then I do on my health fund. I added obstretrics incase I do have a baby. - as if- a mirical would have to happen! I am so ugly and old and so worried about my health. I want a baby desperately and marriage to feel normal. its just so immoral that people have kids and don't appreciate it and here is me I want children and marriage and I want to work part-time. I just don't need russo nazi agression bullying over work.

my doctor told me to go and have a way down and read for a while if my back starts aching, often I ...

I had to close my mothers bedroom window to stop the smell of marijuana coming in at night and to stop hearing them fucking loudly on trampolines, i mean it makes you feel dirty having to listen to that without even straining this loud sex and giggling, so I shut the windows permanently while I study at night often on IT or health or something.

I had to close my mothers bedroom window to stop the smell of marijuana coming in at night and to st...