people have to understand that I did all that opus dei shit as a kid and young adult and at the age of 13 or 14 I even deliberately cut my clit to stop feeling horny from anger everytime that dirty foul pedo abused me and I hit myself over the head with a meat mallet when I kelly college would not give me my course , I mean I met business with this opus dei stuff as a kid and that was how we were bought up to think and I just don't believe in all the bullshit of it now. https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=1aO2LUAjiko that is why when that mongrel dog over at that dirty bayside family church started on me I told the nuns and a priest that they were trying to make me do things and were saying I had to do penance because penance to me ment self-mortification with physical pain and using things like needles and cilice barb wires to cut myself etc and living morbid without love and money and all kinds of things. I rejected sex for a long time and that was how I ended up raped because of joyce's abuse and other abuse and my doctor and the church have said I don't have to do penance and self-mortification. its a very offensive subject and I don't wish to talk about it to anyone. I just think all that shit is just out and out dangerous and mind-bending and occult like if used wrong. I am sick of smiling when I didn't want to for years and god has not graced me with much in return because I am sorry to say but there is no god as we understand it by church and the bible and there is no satan, there are no Jesus's and no hail mary's and no miracles and no saints on in the world. but there seems to be too many demons in the world now. and I just don't believe in any extreme churches anymore. so don't even try to bring up the topic.