all my parents do is argue all the time about filipinos ruining our lives.

depression- I never left my sister behind! unlike people who left me behind! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZAPYERoX_4

depression- I never left my sister behind! unlike people who left me behind! https://www.youtube.co...

UGH. Freaking out in front of my boss/boss's boss. Of course. Because even though I'm just a cashier, even though this is my first real job, I still take everything too darn seriously. I wish I could tell my boss that he's a darn good boss, even if I'm always cowering and cringing because I'm scared to death of him. And I like all my coworkers too, but there's no way to tell them without looking like a kiss up. This is going to be more of a, "Everyone in my life is great, I'm just an incompetent fool when it comes to telling them" thing. How lucky am I, right? I've got a job I enjoy and great coworkers to boot. But even though I do well, I still feel hopelessly inadequate. Like I have to prove myself. My parents love me very much. They say they're proud of me. But I still feel like I'm letting them down. My grades are close to perfect. I'm making my own money, albeit they think cashiering is below their darling daughter's level. Still, it pays the bills. Where am I falling short? And then there's AM/IC. Gah. In my fiveish years of adolescence, I've done nothing but criticize kids like me falling in love. And by God, now I've gone and done it. But of course, I'd be failing him too. He's incredibly talented (at everything). He's (much, much) older. He's gotten a chance to live, and I haven't really yet. I have nothing to offer. I always told myself that I'd stay out of relationships until I was secure with myself, because I didn't want to risk going around trying to find someone to "complete" me. If I'm not whole by myself, what good am I to anyone? Worst of all, he's supremely kind. I don't think he's got a malicious bone in his body. And here I am. I'm the mean one. All my friends say I'm the first to dislike someone. It's kinda a joke now. I'm so quick to be a jerk; I've never seen him snub anyone, no matter how irritating. And I finally found a college, I think. After I finish my A.A. next semester, I think I'll be shipping off eight hours away. It's about a year away. In the back of my mind, I'm saying, "Tell him while you can." There's no friendship to destroy. At the most, the awkwardness would only last until January 2014. Then, I'm out of his life, probably for good. And run the risk that he likes me too, and then I have to go away. Rocking. Honestly wish that people would be upfront with me rather than sub me. I mean like damn why can't you just be like hey I don't like you rather than just make subs ? I don't get it. Then it be the same folks that are like I'm so honest and blah blah blah I don't get it. And to Be honest I've done nothing wrong nothing. I guess it's time to just sit back and watch rather than participate.

UGH. Freaking out in front of my boss/boss's boss. Of course. Because even though I'm just a cashie...

we will call her brenda, but that is not her real name, she is blonde and a lesbo butch bully I am sick of and she makes me sick. I have female friends I love but not sexually. ok but , Thank you Brenda. Once again my family has to do without a holiday like Easter or Christmas all because of you. This makes four fucking Christmasses and other events that I cannot give my family all because you don't like older white men. I hope you're fucking happy you smelly ass fuckng pussy licking lesbo. I busted my fucking ass for that company and you had to listen to some pussy whipped 26 year old snot nosed candy assed jack off with no experience instead of me who has over 20 years of experience. What did that pussy boy do for you? Jack himself off onto your desk for your pleasure? Yeah too bad that pussy boy didn't stay there long. After you used him to fuck me he ran off to work for mommy and daddy for being a pussy boy he couldn't deal with a real job. So you had to strip me of my job, my income, health insurance, dignity, self respect, ambition. And to this day you are still black balling me preventing me from getting another job. Meanwhile you sit there like some god damn black queen flaunting your Jag, your millions, your world travel with your girl friend, all nice and smug. What did you give your girl friend? A new strap-on so she can shove it up your smelly rotted black ass? Do us all a favor Brenda, fuck yourself with a roto-rooter you are abusing me leso. stop just stop.

we will call her brenda, but that is not her real name, she is blonde and a lesbo butch bully I am s...