my back is aching so bad all this week with rain.

i don't want to be anyones friend because of the black gay drug special people. i don't want to be a friend to anyone cuz friends are bad news. friends are not what they used to be. no point having them. I have pets and I been hurt too many times now. I just have pretend friends now. everything is about self care self care self care in therapy today. I just get my treatments and pay for what I can afford and go. cuz I know anyone I get close to will wrong me. friends are expensive to have, time wasters, they are all about them, they won't help you when you need it. they want you to help them be great and then all therapy today says "well this is a world we have to walk over each other and moe everyone down in our path to get what we want and we move on then and ask them to forgive us and if they don't we set god bothers after them with threats of hell and then if that doesn't work we send the devil himself to punish them for not forgiving us" so my advice is do it back to every bitch you ever met you wronged you. when you get the chance attack everyone who has ever wronged you in anyway at work, school, family, friends - believe me friends are the first to harm you. clever people have less friends. when your friendless you learn to be independant and you can leave when you want. you don't have to go drinking when you don't want to, you can go spend your money on yourself or pets. you don't have to worry about your friend being prettier then you or stealing your man! cuz they will. its the nature of the beast in women to want to be superior in everything now with friends and lovers and partners. when you have no friends be careful cuz professional people like medical doctors and business women you visit will likely attack you and want your syncronistity and want to steal your life progress and future good things from you. so keep a look out men do this too. they are money hungry demonic monsters after money and your money, your time, your man and your everything. who needs a friend when you can get to know yourself better have quality time with yourself. whose the winner I ask you? being friendless!!!! you save money and time and heartbreak. cuz no woman will be a true female friend to you, this bbf and you put a man in it the scenario and guess what, she will be working on him and want to steal him from you. she will want your job and church and all the people you know and take you down cuz she is jealous of you. men do this too. just a warning from someone who has experienced it all. from mad murdering famous people as a kid to mad police and mad amublance abusive medical people. everyone is out to moe you down so beware. that is the way of the world a female therapist told me at lifeline. so don't complain to them. you can't win. just don't have friends. have invisible pretend friends and pets as friends. they won't let you down, but your real friend she will, so will your man, have an invisible pretend lover/husband/wife s/he will never let you down. that is the way of the world, its all virtual mind warping now.

i don't want to be anyones friend because of the black gay drug special people. i don't want to be a...

they have been abusing me again. ear bums.

they have been abusing me again. ear bums.

I got carried away on tinder and now I want to f****** die I'm 17. I'm very introverted. I joined tinder and I fell into many serious online relationships, but would not meet up with people as I'm dependent on my parents and being on it would land me in trouble with them- it was my little secret. I was in deep with this. So when the person would get distant, I would panic and send them nudes on snapchat to hold onto them. The first time wasn't serious. just physical attraction. The second was a lot more intense- I fell in love. But he treated me badly and we drifted apart. I was heart broken. So, so, so heartbroken. I didn't know how to cope. I wanted to rebound. I was talking to a couple of people- as you do. these two people both fell in love with me really quickly- and I with them Both. They both wanted to meet up with me, I told them I couldn't. By this stage I grew so numb to the seriousness of sending pictures- I didn't think it was a big deal at all. So I did that. With both of them. Consecutively. Which is scummy. I was just really really emotionally numb, I wasn't thinking straight. All of a sudden the severity of it all hit me like a tonne of f****** bricks. I had to confess what I was doing because I was convinced that they would find out somehow later down the line anyways. One of them was okay with it- we're still on good terms. The other wasn't. He was really hurt, and I've lost him forever now. I look at his Facebook sometimes and f****** kill myself over how I lost such a great person. What I did still haunts me. I'm so paranoid. I know screenshots weren't taken, but I'm still scared shitless of that now. What if pictures of me get leaked? What everyone finds out? What if This comes back to haunt me? What if I get publicly shamed for what I did? I feel like my life is over. Am I a cheater? Am I an evil person? Can I move on from this? It's haunting me. I can't seem to forgive myself. I feel like I am scum, to my core. When it gets really bad, I honestly feel like I'm better off dead. How can I move on? Please help

I got carried away on tinder and now I want to f****** die I'm 17. I'm very introverted. I joined t...