i am a single woman who masturbates to porn. i feel disgusted afterwards and think "thank god that is over and done with" i really want a loving husband with a mature mind and soul and who loves to put detail into what they do and wants children and is refined and well educated, i am always re-educating myself and i long for a good man and career at the end we are all just human beings that need love over job titles and income brackets and bank accounts and name titles etc. i just wish i knew what is about me that pushes the men i like away, i am considering doing a complete expo-say and interviewing radom men business and all areas and getting them to critique me and i think i am tough enough to take the truth if its negative or positive. i just want some feedback. i don't get flirts and that is a form of feedback for women to access their attraction and skills, i never got feedback in jobs, just dead silence. it so silent its erry and creepy society stuff. has the whole world gone halloween but me?