I am putting our christmas tree soon and putting up a few outdoors but nothing much special. to be honest I like christmas in the shops and cafes and out meeting new people getting invites to christmas and new year parties with good entertainment and drinks and food but I hate the loneliness of christmas most years and want to get out more.

Hate

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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am going to up and bloody murder a whole group of people starting with in my own house. I am sick of being everyones fat dog joke that can't find a husband when a nurse said to me the other day- from everything you have told me you been through with illness and rape and child sexual abuse for all those years and all your mother can do is expect you to sleep her bed clean her house have no friends or man, live like some pig and your father couldn't even been bothere to protect you from a pedo or these bashers, you been this pillar of strength for everyone around you and what about you? your 45 no kids, no husband, no job, no car no house never had a real boyfriend even fat shamed then thin shamed accused of being a gym junkie for 2 x a week light gentle exercise is not a ocd, and she said "you are a great person and don't like any one not any person convince you are shit and deserve to be abused or all this negative shit of joyce or rick or katy or ken or relatives, you're the one who has self sacrificed over and over watching and help people around you get dates and love and babies and when your sick who is there to help you? who is there to care for you when all your life you cared for others too dam much! your the one up worried about bills while your mother and father sleeps like a lamb" they aren't worried about who will care for them and when they are gone are they gonna care for you? you have to be selfish and make it clear to people you deserve a husband and a baby and get out of your way you mean business" and just attck them, bash them if you have to. these people abused you bashed you for no reason. they are to blame they should be made to fix the problem. " I never fucked up anyones like, I never went out of my way to ruin anyones like, sure I might have got angry and hurt and I am even more so today. my needs are not listened to and the nurse said I have to make people- so I will I will threated to murder and attack people if I have to. people did it to me so do it back!

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am goin...

Pride Abuse Hate

suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by... why did you have to be a heart breaker , and you were never what I wanted you to be,... that is my song, but for a church like a touch of love ministries to do all this lies at me saying for me to be fertile and get married to a nice young man, I thought fine, young ok-- 32-40 but not 12-14 is completely upsetting and offensive, here was my heart getting so excited at the idea of finding a love at last and having a baby. I can't afford a surrogate to have my babies. I am sick of this and I am sick of ricky martin and his brother that chef wanker manu abusing me, I don't want to know them now. I don't want to know all the people who let me down, I had to see people getting married having babies and getting sex and looking great, and all I got was raped by a fat loser and I don't even know what it feels like to orgasm with a mans dick in me let alone giving birth, its supposed to be a gift from god this incredible thing that a womans body can do give birth to another human being. there is some thing sick and evil about this society that abuses someone like me like this. sorry but I never loved russell I never loved wayne, I never liked or loved ken, I never loved frank I never loved allan, I never loved peter who was older then he was making out- no 2 ways about that, he was a bald fat loud opinionated slob like all the others, wrinkled man who looked 40 pretending to be 20something.

suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by... why did you have to be a heart breaker , and y...

Pride Abuse Hate

how can a reasonably thin teenager attract so many fat yobo old boring slobs? and losers? old alex of 70, some loser south american of 80 some violent pig like ron, was I that bad looking or that poorly behaved ? cuz I just won't except I was that ugly at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21,22 , 23- even up to 37 before I started gaining weight again from these medications and illnesses. I just won't accpet I was this ugly ugly ugly red haired teen that everyone wanted me to believe! you all have to answer and be punsihed and to your penance over that! my cats are all who care about me and being on a disability pension only is not even enought to look after them properly with vet bills and insurance and I can't afford all these surgeons and doctors for back and this and that. every week theres something.and this little wanker in some business chain called me a shit magnet one day - what woman wants to be spoken to like that.

how can a reasonably thin teenager attract so many fat yobo old boring slobs? and losers? old alex o...

Pride Abuse Hate

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