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I have two boy friends

AdulteryTreasonEmbarrassingHaving sex befor the weddingSex
The one is mine since 4 months, the other since 2 weeks!  i don't know what i could do because i love them so much i don't want to make any choice. that's a mistake!!   please forgive me
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we are More than have been just friends holly I've been married 28 years and even though my husband and I still have s** fairly often I found myself masturbating frequently when he is away. He has a very good job but travels around the country and often overseas a few times a month, sometimes for a week or more. My two children are both married and both live quite a distance away. I go to the clubhouse and pool two or three days a week and became friendly with Neil. He is 69 years old but he has a great personality and is fun to be with. My husband knows him well also but has no knowledge of how my relationship with Neil has transpired. I still have a nice enough figure to wear a two peice bathing suit and still like how men look at me. It was just over a year ago the first time I let Neil give me a massage. The first half dozen times I was in my bathing suit but once I became comfortable with him touching my body he slowly talked me into removing my top. Then he suggested I only wear a towel and for some reason I had no embarrassment of him seeing me nude and massageing my entire body. Once the nude massages began it led to him masturbating me each time and I only reacted by having intense o******. I actually expected him to pursuade me to have s** with him but after awhile he confided in me that he was impotent. As is now he massages me about 8 or 10 times each month and I am totally at ease with the way he sees and touches me. He sees me naked more than my husband does and yet I feel no guilt by letting him not only massage but also m********* me. When my husband is home he not only sees Neil often but we actually go out to dinner together. I doubt my husband suspects anything because of Neils age and also his appearance since he is not a very handsome man. My husband seems to like him very much and sometimes suggests we have Neil come for dinner. I have offered to m********* Neil many times and have held his p****. He said he has tried v***** a few times but that has no effect ever since he had prostate cancer a few years ago. Even though he can't get an erection he still tells me how much he enjoys looking at me naked, touching my body and satisfying me.

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