The Office is More Fun to Ignore *lion king intro* I'm dating a guy named Hayden, we are in college. I go to a local college and he went far away and he only visits at most once a month. So, just over a year ago a particular guy named Arin (yes spelled like that) walked into where I work, he walks back to the kitchen. My heart stopped...he is the hottest guy I've ever seen. Soon I learn he's been dating some Latina chick named Reyna who I had known from high school. Casually I would ask about her every once in a while. After a year of wishing him and I were single my folks go out of town for a week. He spent the night twice but nothing too intense happened, however he left my house for about an hour to go dump his girlfriend and then came back and watched the office all night. The second time he spent the night he kissed me goodbye and we made out for a while and that was it. Fast forward a while my boyfriend Hayden took me to a small get together with friends where I drank an entire bottle of wine. My folks thought I was at my best friends house- Aurora (the best friend on the planet). I got super wasted and somehow drove to this s***** house downtown where Arin was hanging with some friends. The next moring I woke up in his dads RV in his grandmas front yard. (His dad likes to go camping on weekends out of town) Nothing sexual happens. FINALLY we spent the night on a Friday, went to two parties in Bloomington (IU town) and came back home. This is where things get spicy. I'm in his bed and we're making out and whatever and I'm taking off his clothes and he's taking off mine. He lays me on my back and takes off my running shorts, kisses me, and eats me out while fingering me, the whole 9 yards (all the things my own boyfriend never ever does) he works his way back up and kisses me while sliding his d*** into my v*****. From that moment I knew this was going to be a life changing s** experience. I've never slept with someone so flawless. After an hour of perfect sexual intercourse we fall asleep in each other's arms and sleep in until noon, of course all this goes down while ignoring America's greatest show, The Office, I left his house and, you guessed it, drove to my boyfriends house. He still has no idea I sleep with this guy. The delima? I have so much time invested in this boyfriend, two years, we have pets and I think I've stolen his entire wardrobe. Idk if I should leave him for the stud muffin or shut things down with my muffin. Muffin gives me undivided attention and s***, plus the s** is better than Jesus f****** Christ our lord and savior the son of god our one true king.

The Office is More Fun to Ignore *lion king intro* I'm dating a guy named Hayden, we are in college. I go to a local college and he went far away and he only visits at most once a month. So, just over a year ago a particular guy named Arin (yes spelled like that) walked into where I work, he walks back to the kitchen. My heart stopped...he is the hottest guy I've ever seen. Soon I learn he's been dating some Latina chick named Reyna who I had known from high school. Casually I would ask about her every once in a while. After a year of wishing him and I were single my folks go out of town for a week. He spent the night twice but nothing too intense happened, however he left my house for about an hour to go dump his girlfriend and then came back and watched the office all night. The second time he spent the night he kissed me goodbye and we made out for a while and that was it. Fast forward a while my boyfriend Hayden took me to a small get together with friends where I drank an entire bottle of wine. My folks thought I was at my best friends house- Aurora (the best friend on the planet). I got super wasted and somehow drove to this s***** house downtown where Arin was hanging with some friends. The next moring I woke up in his dads RV in his grandmas front yard. (His dad likes to go camping on weekends out of town) Nothing sexual happens. FINALLY we spent the night on a Friday, went to two parties in Bloomington (IU town) and came back home. This is where things get spicy. I'm in his bed and we're making out and whatever and I'm taking off his clothes and he's taking off mine. He lays me on my back and takes off my running shorts, kisses me, and eats me out while fingering me, the whole 9 yards (all the things my own boyfriend never ever does) he works his way back up and kisses me while sliding his d*** into my v*****. From that moment I knew this was going to be a life changing s** experience. I've never slept with someone so flawless. After an hour of perfect sexual intercourse we fall asleep in each other's arms and sleep in until noon, of course all this goes down while ignoring America's greatest show, The Office, I left his house and, you guessed it, drove to my boyfriends house. He still has no idea I sleep with this guy. The delima? I have so much time invested in this boyfriend, two years, we have pets and I think I've stolen his entire wardrobe. Idk if I should leave him for the stud muffin or shut things down with my muffin. Muffin gives me undivided attention and s***, plus the s** is better than Jesus f****** Christ our lord and savior the son of god our one true king.
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I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours. Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests. I'm going to blow my brains out. I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But loo...