I long to feel healthy, slim and safe again and like I have an abundant future ahead of me. sometimes I get lost in trying to do so much to make up for what I was not allowed to do and when I was sick and bullied because so many people called me ugly, lazy and stupid and were mean to me too much. I don't know when I last felt safe, I think it was when I was maybe 19 or 20. I had plans and worked towards them and I didn't realise the people who were taking me to a place I didn't want to be til it was too late and I desperately dispised their controlling because they stole from me, they stole my romances with the men I wanted, my sexual attractiveness and no one has the right to take what is not there's and ultimately they can't take when you make it clear to them your not going to take their bullying anymore.