looking for guys to have a cool one with at a bar :)

I am 40 and I look up to my youtube presenters as role models more then most other people. their like friends I never met but if I ever won a lottery enough to afford it I would take them on a holiday with me.

I am 40 and I look up to my youtube presenters as role models more then most other people. their lik...

Unrequited love I LOVE YOU AND IM SO AFRAID OF YOU FINDING OUT I CANT EVEN TYPE YOUR NAME! I THOUGHT IT WOULD GO AWAY BUT IT HASNT! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I CANT SLEEP! I JUST WISH I KNEW IF YOU FELT THE SAME WAY AND I WISH WE COULD BE TOGETHER BECAUSE I KNOW I COULD CHEER YOU UP AND I FEEL LIKE WE WERE MEANT TO BE.

Unrequited love I LOVE YOU AND IM SO AFRAID OF YOU FINDING OUT I CANT EVEN TYPE YOUR NAME! I THOUGHT...

Right from the beginning, I knew I Right from the beginning, I knew I shouldnt of been born Right from the beginning, mistakes were my life. Nothing I ever did, was right. NOT once. I was ridiculed for things, blamed for being me. I was hurt by my "family" and so I covered myelf with a shield. Has anyone ever broke in? A crack maybe.But not much. I dont like for people to be in my business. But inside Im thinking it would be nice if once in a while someone asked. Just to fathom the notion that someone cares. But that is too much to ask. Im the quiet one. I say nothing when someone jokes on me. I know what I WOULD say,but i think why waste energy? I hate being talked down to, but I come home to exactly that everyday. Of course Im not perfect sometimes. And people automatically think that whatever they think I am, I wil always be. F*** them. They are nothing. Thats why I despise most people now. They make me sick to my stomach. And sometimes I could be sitting with my friends,and blank off into space and just feel hatred filling me up. Basically my whole life is crap. Always has been. Never was allowed to be happy. You didn't make me happy. You didn't fill the space I needed filled. I have always been insecure. I have always been angry. I have always been unhappy.

Right from the beginning, I knew I Right from the beginning, I knew I shouldnt of been born Right fr...