today is a new change and I am asking you god to stand before me and fight off the enemy and send the cutest fun clever handsome loving man that will love me and make me feel special. I am sick of hearing all the excuses out of peoples mouths about how relationships are hard as if it would be too hard for me to handle. how dare you imply that, people years ago just fell inlove and got married and lived their life around a relationship and went to church and jobs or education and there was none of this bullshit of today about your worthiness or being ready for a relationship etc and people were happy to go to church and pray and they were encouraged to believe the freedom was there fore them after the war there was hope of change. people today are being brainwashed by liars in therapy books and new age and even bible bashing preachers who don't let love be the answer to young peoples lives. I am sick of hearing how hard their relationships are but yet they are still in them and look pretty happy to me and yet try to convince me I should not want one. why? what is more special about you anyway? and my father once said at my old sisters first wedding "there is nothing sweeter then love" that is the problem today people have forgotten to allow some people to feel sweet and loved, and put price tags on love and labelled quality as crap. I still don't know why the guy I liked said to me the things he did in a meeting hurting my feelings about not having children, then blocked me as if it was some game when I was desperately sick. what is so special about you to have a child and not me, what is so special about you to have a job and education and career then me, why do you love to chase this dollar tag old woman for sex ??? and you say your paid to smile - that is so lame. oh so you like a rich old cow who pays you to smile for dirty old sex and she pops out babies all the time like the cash cow slag she is. drop your crude nude bomb on someone else and not me. cuz I am done giving a dam about you and her and your fake love and all the excuses you put up to avoid loving me and making me feel equal to you. has she been attacked and bashed and ill as often as me? I bet not. and I bet she is not as nice as me either. I was sick with scarlet fever and non-paralising polio and rashes and illnesses and migraines and car accident injuries and rape and stroke and seizures and a disease but you still seem to think she is more deserving of love and your time over me. well i think you are lame and a coward and a weak man and worse then a battery hen with batteries plugged in ya butt hole to make you smile. your a super jerk you are. a real a grade jerk snobby rude arrogant man full of ego I really hope someone bashes you down a few times and all the old creepies that have stopped the nice men loving me. I hope they suffer in hell. like richard I hope he suffers in hell for abusing me. I am sick from old men. I am sick from bullying bitchy women. give me a break god and let in the light please. and protect me from richard and those bald men I dont like. I am trying to find a good side to mustard-ass, I mean he has a good side and cant be completely bad but I did not like him when I met him but I have grown to hate most men cuz most are jerks and dont know how to care for women right. like richard he has not got a clue what my needs are and can not meet them, nor can the phsyio or back surgeon. but that cute-pie ponce from Europe can but will he? does he like me? does the onyg-tam even care or like me or has it been some sick cruel game with him has he been out to torture me is he BPta? why would someone need to put in that much effort to try to harm someone?