Ok so after 5 yrs of marriage i decide i'm going to cheat on my loving - but boring - wife. so i go to this nice hotel downtown where i know there are working girls at the large bar. i spot one who is eyeing me from across the bar area, i buy her a couple drinks while chatting. i tell her i'm married. she tells me she's only working not looking for a relationship. we talk more and drink more and i actually start to like her and want to get with her. she tells me to go get a room and i do. she actually blows me in the elevator on the way upstairs. we walk in the room and she pushes me against the back of the door and finishes the bj and she is spectacular. we get in the bed and she insists we leave the lights off. we hold each other for a while and then she blows me again long enough to get me good and hard and then she mounts me in a reverse cowgirl, which somehow she knows is my favorite position. so she gets me off and i mean OFF. we relax for a while and have another drink from the mini-bar with the room still dark. we hold each other under the sheets again and then she asks me to go down on her. i think again how she knows the things i love and eating p**** is near the top of that list. so down i go as she spreads her legs open to me. only then do i realize she has a c***. a big c***. a HUGE c***. i balk and i start to get sick to my stomach. i fall back on the bed and sort of freak. she was incredibly nice about it and apologized profusely. she said she assumed i knew what she was since almost all of the men who come on to her can sense it. she gave me her phone number as i left and told me to call her anytime if i decided i wanted to "walk on the wild side" (i may be the only man alive who didn't know what that phrase meant until that night). i guess this is what i get for deciding to cheat in the first place. but now i have found myself starting to think about this very beautiful girl (that's still how i think of her) more and more and i sometimes even drive by the hotel and think about going inside to see if she's there. i don't know if i could perform now knowing what i know and worrying the whole time........does this make me gay? or does it just make me a horrible husband? or both?

Ok so after 5 yrs of marriage i decide i'm going to cheat on my loving - but boring - wife. so i go to this nice hotel downtown where i know there are working girls at the large bar. i spot one who is eyeing me from across the bar area, i buy her a couple drinks while chatting. i tell her i'm married. she tells me she's only working not looking for a relationship. we talk more and drink more and i actually start to like her and want to get with her. she tells me to go get a room and i do. she actually blows me in the elevator on the way upstairs. we walk in the room and she pushes me against the back of the door and finishes the bj and she is spectacular. we get in the bed and she insists we leave the lights off. we hold each other for a while and then she blows me again long enough to get me good and hard and then she mounts me in a reverse cowgirl, which somehow she knows is my favorite position. so she gets me off and i mean OFF. we relax for a while and have another drink from the mini-bar with the room still dark. we hold each other under the sheets again and then she asks me to go down on her. i think again how she knows the things i love and eating p**** is near the top of that list. so down i go as she spreads her legs open to me. only then do i realize she has a c***. a big c***. a HUGE c***. i balk and i start to get sick to my stomach. i fall back on the bed and sort of freak. she was incredibly nice about it and apologized profusely. she said she assumed i knew what she was since almost all of the men who come on to her can sense it. she gave me her phone number as i left and told me to call her anytime if i decided i wanted to "walk on the wild side" (i may be the only man alive who didn't know what that phrase meant until that night). i guess this is what i get for deciding to cheat in the first place. but now i have found myself starting to think about this very beautiful girl (that's still how i think of her) more and more and i sometimes even drive by the hotel and think about going inside to see if she's there. i don't know if i could perform now knowing what i know and worrying the whole time........does this make me gay? or does it just make me a horrible husband? or both?
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10 years ago this weekend (1) Every year around this time i am flooded with memories of one of if not the best weekend of my life. My wife and i had tried for a few years after marriage to have children and after depleting our savings and selling off all of my toys including my small but beloved collection of vintage motorcycles to pay for fertility treatments we still had nothing more than a garbage can full of negative pregnancy tests. Our doctors couldn't explain any reason for the failure to conceive and my wife had started to spiral downward every time one of her friends got pregnant. There was only one thing she wanted in life and that was to be a mom and i wanted to give that to her and was beginning to feel like a failure since i wasn't able to provide her with that. One night as we laid in bed going through our finances we discussed adoption which she explained was not what she wanted, She wanted to experience the while pregnancy and "the miracle" of giving birth. She had pretty much turned into a compulsive google researcher and spent all her time at home researching and trying home remedies and i have to tell you, Some of them were pretty crazy and off the wall. In early June of 2007 my wife and i were laying in bed and she had just returned from spending a week with her best friend of 18 years, Her friend had two kids already 3 years into marriage and they had planned for her husband to "Get fixed" but due to complications which came up before the surgery it ended up that she was the one who had to have her tubes tied, my wife was explaining the whole thing to me and although it was extremely h****** her she spent the week caring for her friend and her friends children until she was able to do it herself so her husband could continue to work. I could tell as we laid there she had something she wanted to say but she wouldn't come right out and say it. I looked at her and finally asked her what it was and she sat up, looked at me and began. She explained that her and her friend had obviously been talking about our situation and her friend had made her an offer she had been thinking about, She told me her and her friend had discussed the possibility of my wife getting knocked up by her husband, she told me that their decision to not have more kids was not that they didn't want more but due to the fact that there were complications with the birth of their last child that something had happened and she was no longer able to carry a child to full term and had been through more than a few miscarriages and couldn't handle the heart break again. My wife continued to tell me that her friend had told her she basically got pregnant every time they had s** and then had offered her husbands "services". Initially i laughed but after looking at my wife as she sat there not saying anything and just looking at her lap i asked if she was considering it, She started to cry and after gathering herself she told me she would only consider it if i was 100% on board. I spent some time thinking about it then after thinking of any possible way to raise more money for further treatments i realized that if this was our one last chance and if there was even a slight chance it could work that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. She had of course been with other guys before me and i decided what was it going to hurt to add one more to the roster. My wife immediately called her friend and as i laid there listening they made an entire plan for her friends husband to have s** with my wife, The whole thing was a bit upsetting but at the same time also a bit exciting, During the conversation my wife stopped, looked at me then got up and left the room, She returned and we started discussing "The plan" and after repeatedly confirming i was ok with everything she told me her friend had some concerns about what me and her were going to do while her husband pounded my wife, I asked what she meant and i honestly had not put any thought into that part of it but she told me her friend ha asked about her feelings on us doing "stuff" and we briefly discussed it. We had made a plan to spend a weekend at their place and they had sent their kids to his parents for Saturday and Sunday planning to pick them up Monday after school, I had booked Friday and Monday off work since they live 6 hours away and we would need two days to travel there and back. We arrived and immediately decided to go for supper, Everything was super awkward but when we got back to their place her friend was the one who finally said "Lets just get it out of the way and clear the sexual tension". My wife's friend said 'be right back" and took her husband down the hall, my wife looked at me, and asked if i was ok, i told her yes but was starting to have second thought but felt it was too late to back out now, I did my best to convince her it was all good and when they returned a few minutes later her friends husband, Who by the way i was also friends with by this point even though we didn't meet until me and my wife met but he looked at me and we stood up, he said to me "we good" and we had a very awkward moment where i assured him he had my permission to f*** and impregnate my wife. He took my wife by the hand and i stood next to her best friend as we watched them walk down the hall to the bedroom and the plan was not to see them again until morning. Read part two if you want the good stuff.

10 years ago this weekend (1) Every year around this time i am flooded with memories of one of if n...