You fucking Beat me as a kid ! You had thee most angered punishments made for me. You handled me like a piece of meat dangling up off the floor and welted me all over my body with your hand, belt, wire cloth hanger "whatever". You had the most vile angry attitude against me. I will not be sorry for what you did. The pain of it all is gone but the internal marks left behind still linger. I know now what your fucking problem was ! Dad was an alcoholic! You had a previous husband in a first marriage who was the same thing. You made the mistake of marrying another one. You hated yourself for that. Alcoholic husbands make moms turn into both daddy and mommy. Your first marriage did this to you and you fucking went right back at it in your second. You took it all out on the kids in your first marriage. Next you took it all out on your second. Fuck you mom! And I'll explain - I was the last kid you ever had and you did more of your fucking beatings on me because of the larger than life mess you created in Two families! Secondly you turned to alcohol yourself cause I aint around to be abused by you. Lastly now your dead and never said your last dieing words of how sorry you were - So I'll just say this... You fucking abused me more so along with the rest of the kids. Your abuses were just translations of your low self esteem and failures. You couldn't see enough to stop your abuses and put an end to where they were coming from. NO, you had to be the middleman. Someone pissed you off, you just passed it along the us kids. You know what mom...Up Your's!