I don'like my husband's family.

we decided to try some swapping partners. About a year ago my husband was approached by a couple at a party and invited to their home the next weekend. We went despite not knowing them very well. They had a nice home and we had drinks and dinner. After dinner we relaxed on their patio and talked. At the end of the night they told us they liked to swap partners with other couples. It took us totally by surprise and we asked why they picked us to approach. They said it was all about physical attraction for them and they thought we both had great bodies. We went home after telling them we had never considered doing anything like this. They called us about two weeks later and asked if we would like to get together again. We talked it over and decided to try it once to see what it was like. We have been getting together once a month since. The sex is good and the friendship has grown. We don't do it with anyone else and no neither do they. We look forward to our date nights now.

we decided to try some swapping partners. About a year ago my husband was approached by a couple at...

This is my second time around being married. I got married the first time at 19 and it fell apart and became the ugliest divorce you would want to hear about. The court battles are ongoing, and the ex is after me for more child support every single year, despite the fact that she is re-married to a millionaire and I pretty much scrape by after what I already pay her. That's not so bad. I can deal with her bullshit and its not like I want to skip out on child support anyway. The worst part is I found a girlfriend a few years ago and right when I'd decided it was time to move on she got pregnant. Not being able to afford (as in I'd be homeless if I tried) child support on two fronts, I married this woman. Now, she's not a bad person. We co-exist fine in the same house, but I'd rather just not be married. Truth to tell, I'd rather not deal with women at all, relationship wise. I'm 40 years old and it just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. Relationships are more headache than joy to me. So basically I stay married because its easier. I don't hate my wife, I just don't love her either. I'm pretty neutral about the whole thing. I know she'd become a blight on my life if we got a divorce though. She doesn't work, and she'd come after me for every penny she could get. I have a higher income than I did when we first got married, but it wouldn't matter, the court would just order me to pay more because of it, plus I'd have the original ex to deal with... So basically I'm stuck. I hate being married, I hate the day to day work of it, every single day I dream of being free of it. In the meantime I go through the motions. I tell my wife I love her, etc, but its all lies. I take her on the occasional date, buy her flowers, all to keep her quiet. If I'm going to suffer through this the last thing I want to hear is her bullshit about not being loved enough. Welcome to my life, lady. Things don't always work out the way we want. I'll leave if you promise not to come after me for every penny I have, but of course you would, because you're "entitled" to it even though you aren't willing to go get a job yourself. Yeah fuck that. If I'm going to have to deal with that, you're going to have to deal with the loveless marriage. If you don't like it, YOU can walk. That will probably make the whole thing more affordable. Yep, that's my life. I hope this little rant falls into the hands of anyone considering marriage, because there's a really good chance that when the love runs out (and it will) you'll be in this exact same position.

This is my second time around being married. I got married the first time at 19 and it fell apart an...

I'm trying... Why can't anyone get that? Why can't my whole family just realize that I'm trying... I"m sorry I lost my scholarship and my grant, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got a C in my math class. I'm sorry I let my scholarship and my grant slip away because I'm stupid and it's all my fault, okay? I know it's all my fault. I tried but I didn't try hard enough and I got a C and I'm sorry. I'm f****** sorry! What more can I do? What more can I say? No, I don't want to end up in debt like both my sisters. I know, they graduated college more than 10 years ago and they're still paying off their loans. I know that. I'm sorry and I know it's all my fault and I know we wouldn't be so tight on money if I wasn't accidentally made. I'm sorry I was even born. I'm sorry I made you all hate me. I'm a f****** failure and I know it. You don't have to shove it in my face and tell me that I wasn't trying hard enough. At least I was trying. At least I saved you a semester of money. But that's not good enough. I'm not good enough. I've failed... I've failed everyone. And now we all have to pay, literally... I'm sorry for being the biggest f*** up in the family. I'm sorry I even thought I had a chance to survive college. I'm sorry that I even thought I had a chance to survive. I'm just... I'm done. I don't know what else to do anymore. I've tried loans and I got denied. I've tried financial aid and I got denied. I've already settled on switching from my university to community college, but that still costs. We have no more money. And it's all because of me. It's all my fault and I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I've failed all of you.. I'm sorry for being a failure..

I'm trying... Why can't anyone get that? Why can't my whole family just realize that I'm trying... ...