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I am in the heat on the bed most days thinking "how can I get out of here and find a better life? and get out of this heat?"

Pride
I am in the heat on the bed most days thinking "how can I get out of here and find a better life? and get out of this heat?"
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i accused my husband of cheating and i was wrong For months my husband has had a Los Angeles number on his phone and when it calls he disappears for a few hours at a time. He claimed it was his boss' number an he was from LA. So I followed and documented. I was wrong! He was telling the truth! I followed him to a house and a woman answered and he went in. I knocked a few minutes later and the woman let me in when I identified myself. I saw the office to the left and saw my husband and his boss having a meeting with photos. Apparently he is doing loss prevention and identifying thieves at his work place then meeting his boss and security officer after hours with his findings. Boy am I embarrassed! putting style over comfort when last week I had the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life. I had it with someone ive been in love with since I was 12. He fingers me good and eats me out like no other. Ive never expierenced such pleasure .... unfortunately found out he's taken Men are jerks , now he doesnt want a relationship i have to get over you so i will its just that I am obsessed with winning a richly endowled hunky blowhorn man not pumpkins and screwdrivers and yukidy slaps and sweat grots in tech and trades and uniforms that are old seeing all the best ones are taken. anyway we're broke apart now I left and he left and we left the town going separate ways. I was shopping online today for a pair of Sanuk's, I've been told they are the MOST comfortable shoes ever. The two pairs I found to buy didn't have the arch that is the key to their comfort. I am going to buy them. Style over comfort.

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I have been sad last few days its anniversary of sabi's death, I don't expect people to understand,cuz I just don't give a flying fuck who I offend these days since she went. I have so much bitterness in me and false friendliness and false politeness there are days I have to force it politeness out and its painful but its better the days when I can be blantantly rude, hard and cruel and harsh and mean to heaps of people. it somehow makes me feel better! just over a cat. and fuck the world on their spastic fucking xmas eve holedown hellfire shows. I hope heaps of people die in hell anyway. who cares! I just write my songs and that is a different side to me no one sees.

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