i've been making up excuses to not complete my college work and I got to get into it.

Am i stupid? I made a facebook.. added my friends and stuff.. and added this really cute dude... didn't know him but he liked me to.. we started going out .. i was super happy.. until my noisy cousin came in... started talking to him . i don't even get why she would she said she hated him .she said he was ugly. she said multiple things an she said " ewwwww Mia i know your not dating him ! " when i told her he asked me out.. then she started telling him lies about me. she not even my real cousin.. but it seems like he believed the things she said.. he started talking to me differently....i mean i really liked him..but seems he doesn't even like me anymore.. its more hi whats up k bye.. then what we used to talk like an flirt): miss him.. wish i never told her.. he changed his facebook status back to single.. guess really does mean were over.. he didn't even have the guts to f****** tell me .. thing is i don't care.. i till like him i still want to date him .. do fun things with him.. i wish he came on this site.. just to read this and know how i feel. i love him stupid to get attached to a person on the internet right? stupid to cry myself to sleep over him right? stupid to know hes always on my f****** mind no matter what i'm doing? stupid to even have added him right? stupid to even reply when he first started a chat with me saying " u fine ." right? stupid to cry over something as silly as him changing his facebook status right? never done it before but. just something about him i guess): and yes i wrote " Tired.. just in case u thought this was familar):

Am i stupid? I made a facebook.. added my friends and stuff.. and added this really cute dude... di...

I bought my mother some scarfs and a top and I got a blue sun dress for myself that i wore down to the pool but I wish I was not so fat. I eat fresh salads and fruit and only now and then have fats like butter or coconut fats, like today lunch I made a nice salad for us it was a feta and warm baby beetroot with red and green lettuce and watercress and red pear with side soup and worst thing I ate today is 2 bits of coconut dark chocolate and a slice of fruit bread with butter.

I bought my mother some scarfs and a top and I got a blue sun dress for myself that i wore down to t...

i grew up hating feeling fat most of my teens and youth and young adult life I would yoyo weight a lot, put it on, lose it and not understand why. most of it was simply food and exercise but not really arranging time for exercise or planing senible eating routines til I was in my late 20s after at university. I hated being fat being called the fat red head ugly shy loser bitch etc. old fat maid and more. a fat dog, witch by tv news reporters when I was just 24 and so shy I hardly talked to anyone and was a virgin til 29 so never talked about sex with friends ever and would walk away due to sexual assault that I was in denial about. i lost weight and wanted to stay thin and everyone wanted me fat again. especially when I didn't like the married fat short bald man who raped me. lets get something straight right now- who ever it is implying I gave my aunty mary cancer has to be the sickest bastard out. how can a child do that, no one told me i had cancer dr staplebum ! and dr webster calling me old. yeh, so just because I was fat and am now and said I hate being fat, and hated a fat married old man with tattoos raping me you all decide to abuse me, well how about you all get abused see how it feels. yeh, while fat and thin I even said "oh yeh I hate fat people" how many times have you heard fat people say that, or people will say that about church people, or tv shows, jeans and banks or snobs or druggies or gays or blacks or asians or richbie cars, or red heads or whatever, they will all say "oh yeh I hate red heads" but they are red, or "I hate this or that" but they are exactly what they say they hate. so what you want to hold that against me too, because I am human. oh, but its ok for you to be human and make mistakes, yeh, its ok for a married man to rape a 29 year old virgin who was sexually abused for decades by a dirty old man and felt so fat and ugly and hated but its not ok for me to be human and say something contradictory and sarcastic or make a mistakes as a child but your so forgiven because your a man well, who do you think you are? which is the greater crime here. excuse me! but I will get over it and live but will you'all?

i grew up hating feeling fat most of my teens and youth and young adult life I would yoyo weight a l...