i am so sick of these book publishing companies annoying me over my childrens book ideas, I don't have the confidence to draw like I did as a teenager its a art i lost interest in and anyway, i like my book ideas but not a lot of people do other then the book companies and I just don't have the money to publish, I had no idea how expensive it was anyway, and to get a professional or amature illistrator etc. I wish I had come up with these book ideas back when I was a teen. I have been working on other stories as well but my heart is not into them. sometimes it works and other times writing a story is harder work. I am not talent I just do whatever I am moved or in at the time, its like with art I used to draw and paint a lot, now I don't give a fring for it. it doesn't interest me the same way. I could draw a violin or still life or things but I just am bored with that now. at home I do more floral design now and love doing that. I also like different arty things and these publishing companies want to own your life and soul. I know they say they are trying to make it easier for me to get published but I am so depessed right now. this ear infection and chest pain and I have been serverly depressed since the vaginal byopsies to be honest. I don't know what could move the depression away. maybe some real friends, I don't know if people even have real friends anymore? do people still do that????