I am sick of this lifestyle. I tell my mother everything I did as a kid and she said I should not feel guilty for what happened at all. I confide a lot in my parents and my dad always gave me good advice, may you never meet a friend on the way down. but i think it should be on the way up because some people that make out they are your friends really fuck up your life fuck up your love life, fuck up your career and job life and they have no morals for what they do,it is just jealousy= like joyce she was jealous of me from day 1 and I was too naive to see it. but she was the lesson I didn't need to learn, she was someone elses lesson that went the wrong way, just like i am someone some academics theises on morality and child sexual abuse - I wrote one myself, but i was this criminologists experiement as a child got wrong.