I am sick of this lifestyle. I tell my mother everything I did as a kid and she said I should not feel guilty for what happened at all. I confide a lot in my parents and my dad always gave me good advice, may you never meet a friend on the way down. but i think it should be on the way up because some people that make out they are your friends really fuck up your life fuck up your love life, fuck up your career and job life and they have no morals for what they do,it is just jealousy= like joyce she was jealous of me from day 1 and I was too naive to see it. but she was the lesson I didn't need to learn, she was someone elses lesson that went the wrong way, just like i am someone some academics theises on morality and child sexual abuse - I wrote one myself, but i was this criminologists experiement as a child got wrong.

I am so relieved today, my bowls have been like bad lately on and off cuz of this detox thing I am on. and I watch a lot of dr eric berg and barbara o'neil at a health retreat cuz I want to go through a complete detox process for weight issues and my heart and my has thyroid issues and diabetites and blood preasure and cholestrol issues and takes medications and I have to be aware of it. I went off the hormone replacement therapy because I could not hack it, it did help ease period pain and I think might have lost a bit of weight on it but l was sick every other day with it. the only benefit I can see with it is sure the period pain for the first 24-48 hours was not as intense. but your near vomitting every day anyway. I have server back pain anyway and learnt to live with pain, but the heart palpitations are the worst feeling or feeling struggle to breathe. etc. since I had this vaginal byopsy I feel even more afraid to even consider sex. for the last 4 years I just can't even handle insertion feeling don't use tampons ever and there is a lot of issues for me, my spine and this occasional gritty feeling and chunch sound in my neck is unpleasant and worries me a lot. I go through fear of cancers since 2 ladies I knew had back cancer and died I was upset when they died and cried a lot and then I had always been scared of issuues of bone cancer since the car accident when i was 19 and all these middle ear infections and heart issues on and off. people wonder why you become so paranoid, fear, anxeity and panic disorder is a very debilitating thing. some days are a struggle to believe I will be ok in 5 or 10 years and I want to live a long life and I have always been health conscious and only ever drank small or occasional night out binge alcohol for a short while anyway. its not something my body could cope with even when I was young so I just didn't do it a lot. but yeh I have been told I am a hypochondriac and technically that is true...a person who is abnormally anxious about their health but with good reason to be that way after what I went through.

I am so relieved today, my bowls have been like bad lately on and off cuz of this detox thing I am o...

sometimes I want to tell the police a lot more that at the time I can't thing of. I don't know if it...

I am a person who will make out everything is fine and what angers me is people who do threatening t...