I learnt heaps from my mistakes and that is why I want to earn my holidays not be given something out of pity by a cruise company as nice as it is. I know I have skills and abilities and I want my books to be published and sell, once I have a focus on something I have done I work on it. I have tried drawing again but not in that frame of mind yet. but I don't feeL I have to be everything to all people. if I win a holiday or a prize fare and square fine! but I want to show people I have skills and I am sick of being treated like I haven't got any at all when I know I have.