one physiotherapist I went to when I was really ill did really hard massage on my left shoulder and he said to me "you have an incredible tolerance to pain" and I thought "yeh well don't push it mate!" because he seemed to go all the harded and then said to me "you will feel like you are having a heart attack but your not" sure enough a few days later I was packing off to another doctor beside myself in over my mastoid eventhough all the mri's and ct scans were showing what they said was "nothing" yet the ambulance officer said "there is a good reason why you have been sent to the neurologist/brain surgeon" the heart pain was out of this world serveral times in a few months I thought I was going to die I could tell when my heart was slowing down and I would be pacing around all hours of the night trying to breath and I was seeing another physiotherapist as well for pnemonia treatment and I just wondered why people were doing all this to me? ever since I was a kid people were putting this shit down on me, then all this deliberate isolation like I was some leppa or freakin criminal on parole going to russos answering the big bear gruff which was just insanity. all these doctors and tests all saying "no nothing is wrong, yes you have a ear infection but you won't die" and I was like well why the hell is this driving me insane the infection took forever to go down and once the ent did the surgery on my ear drum I had all this blood on the roof of my mouth for weeks and I couldn't brush my teeth so I was using salt a lot and I couldn't wash my hair because everytime I did it felt like my brain water was swelling and you just get sick of doctors saying shit at you that its like they are taking a bit off you rather then being sincer and polite, and there were a few really good doctors as well. one indian young doctor at the hospital was amazingly thorough, I get really annoyed sometimes because a lot of doctors today forget very basic procedures like BP and pulse and looking into throat and eyes and chest - they are often as lazy as the cops and will take the laziest way out of a case which years ago doctors would never do. I was insulted a number of times and I was warned to shut up and let the situation go and ignore all the bullying and if I said anything it was like I was going to get it I got the warning via other people however, they use other people to talk through them. that is what I don't like its really snide too. and I was not going to back down. I told one indian female doctor to go shove it because I was polite to her and she would giggle and shake her head and say the specialists didn't prescript the right thing or it wouldn't work what they prescribed and I said "I have to trust my gp i have to rely on you to work with my specialists and tell me things if they don't, if you think its an issue say so say why? don't just giggle and she was like "I don't need to read all that from the specialist I am a doctor" and I said yes but I am not! I need you to follow with the speciaist and not have me as lettuce leaf between the sandwich. why are you working against the specialists every time? why do you keep saying they are wrong?" that only puts more doubt and upset on me then making me question them more and more. I don't need anymore doubt I already have plenty, and I don't want anyone ruining my professional relationships with any more of my doctors becausse its annoying having to change doctors I need to settle somewhere and trust what they say. I try my best to ignore as much as I can, but I don't need the unwanted comments that are insulting because believe me, I can be insulting and slash back unexpectly at people too! I have my ways and means of finding peoples secrets out. I will undo people who mess with me, I hate my neighbors for attacking D, he can answer for himsself if he wronged me.

one physiotherapist I went to when I was really ill did really hard massage on my left shoulder and he said to me "you have an incredible tolerance to pain" and I thought "yeh well don't push it mate!" because he seemed to go all the harded and then said to me "you will feel like you are having a heart attack but your not" sure enough a few days later I was packing off to another doctor beside myself in over my mastoid eventhough all the mri's and ct scans were showing what they said was "nothing" yet the ambulance officer said "there is a good reason why you have been sent to the neurologist/brain surgeon" the heart pain was out of this world serveral times in a few months I thought I was going to die I could tell when my heart was slowing down and I would be pacing around all hours of the night trying to breath and I was seeing another physiotherapist as well for pnemonia treatment and I just wondered why people were doing all this to me? ever since I was a kid people were putting this shit down on me, then all this deliberate isolation like I was some leppa or freakin criminal on parole going to russos answering the big bear gruff which was just insanity. all these doctors and tests all saying "no nothing is wrong, yes you have a ear infection but you won't die" and I was like well why the hell is this driving me insane the infection took forever to go down and once the ent did the surgery on my ear drum I had all this blood on the roof of my mouth for weeks and I couldn't brush my teeth so I was using salt a lot and I couldn't wash my hair because everytime I did it felt like my brain water was swelling and you just get sick of doctors saying shit at you that its like they are taking a bit off you rather then being sincer and polite, and there were a few really good doctors as well. one indian young doctor at the hospital was amazingly thorough, I get really annoyed sometimes because a lot of doctors today forget very basic procedures like BP and pulse and looking into throat and eyes and chest - they are often as lazy as the cops and will take the laziest way out of a case which years ago doctors would never do. I was insulted a number of times and I was warned to shut up and let the situation go and ignore all the bullying and if I said anything it was like I was going to get it I got the warning via other people however, they use other people to talk through them. that is what I don't like its really snide too. and I was not going to back down. I told one indian female doctor to go shove it because I was polite to her and she would giggle and shake her head and say the specialists didn't prescript the right thing or it wouldn't work what they prescribed and I said "I have to trust my gp i have to rely on you to work with my specialists and tell me things if they don't, if you think its an issue say so say why? don't just giggle and she was like "I don't need to read all that from the specialist I am a doctor" and I said yes but I am not! I need you to follow with the speciaist and not have me as lettuce leaf between the sandwich. why are you working against the specialists every time? why do you keep saying they are wrong?" that only puts more doubt and upset on me then making me question them more and more. I don't need anymore doubt I already have plenty, and I don't want anyone ruining my professional relationships with any more of my doctors becausse its annoying having to change doctors I need to settle somewhere and trust what they say. I try my best to ignore as much as I can, but I don't need the unwanted comments that are insulting because believe me, I can be insulting and slash back unexpectly at people too! I have my ways and means of finding peoples secrets out. I will undo people who mess with me, I hate my neighbors for attacking D, he can answer for himsself if he wronged me.
20

Next post in 20s

Will redirect automatically

This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

More from 'Pride' category

Type in youtube "I have no friends" its really interesting, or "why I left university or college" or "I resigned from my job" so many people give up and are happier for it because you will just be expected to work fast and long and die young in work. once you turn 25 or 30 no one wants you for work or relationships. and if you say your getting none (ie as in s** or work) people just won't like you and will pass you up. when was the last time someone asked a celibate chick waiting or mr right to go on a date with them without any stress to it or expecting s**? see the girls who give up s** are more likely to value the s** over the ones that just keep getting married all the time and have s** with heaps of men. people think crying in s** means real love it doesn't, that is just how worthless that person feels and just having s** for sad rape and sicko stuff is a waste of time too and most people are unemotional or only emotional when their feelings have been hurt but that don't equal true love. real love is not always painful, just like all rapes don't just happen in underground car parks at night or being pushed into bushes in the dark paths at night. rape is real for most women. why worry about love when you can have a pretend friend and everything is about self care in therapy today.Its best to focus on you. I did a law degree another way and never told anyone and the direction will come when your mind opens to new things. don't focus on the bad of others rotting at you. that is there s*** and garbage not yours. no matter what you got to make the next 20 or more years of life about you and enjoy it and not about the people who hurt you continue to hurt you. I would get off the internet for a while. don't post anything on sites for a while, get rid of all your fb accounts etc so people can't get into your space and time and then come back slowly like on annon sites now and then. use the net for entertainment and education and fun not for revenge other then via the legal authorities and if they can't help you then move and start new somewhere else and a holiday alone sometimes just going a nice place can help you get lost to find the other better you inside of you. that's what I did. I have family but as for men sworn off them. men are rubbish today cuz the women are rubbish as well. if you have morals you are gonna stand out like a sore thumb and probably be more alone than not. intelligent people have fewer friends and relationships. love is temporary but like as the song says "diamonds are forever, so too is herpes" so love aint worth all the illnesses like mono, and everything else to hiv and worry and if you do get lucky and find someone do it on holiday and don't tell anyone. no one. not even your closest family or parents.Law degrees are a dime a dozen now, and 75% of university graduates will never work and a lot drop out because of stress and money and relationships and jobs etc. you will find putting millions into education or on a loan is not worth it anymore. the people who have the jobs are not letting anyone get ahead and they won't give them up. so why bother be a drop out and enjoy life there is more to life then working and career and degrees and relationships.

Type in youtube "I have no friends" its really interesting, or "why I left university or college" or...

this process of getting rid of certain unsavory relatives and people with mum is a process where by I down cry everyone and remove them, afterall my aunty was invited over a week ago to an event has not responded and there is only so long I should have to wait for a response from her when she wants an answer straight away when she invites us places and I am sick of people doing this to me. anyway her love is cold and unreliable and untrusting. I don't trust my female cousin she is a liar and I don't want her there. she has too many husbands and kids out of control. I don't want to mix with people out of control. I am a person of order. so I don't know why my aunty didn't respond to my mothers message but I am sick of paying out money and then people leave me high and dry and I am not dancing anyones tune. it won't hurt them if they didn't know anyway, but my aunty is welcome and the invite to her stands but not to others maybe her son and his wife but that is about it. people expect to answer clear 'yes or no' to invites and all i ever got from karon was "oh unless i get a better offer" so you know that means "your not worth putting myself out for and any man would be a better offer then your company" and I know my aunty won't invite us to any nye event and as dad says we don't want to look like we are after her money cuz we aren't. we don't care. everyone is richer then us and we just don't care about their money.

this process of getting rid of certain unsavory relatives and people with mum is a process where by ...