I really feel I had to write to you kristine about this one. I was always yoyo weight and got to a size 14-16 when I was at university and my life was falling down around me and I had tried jenny craig and could not stand the food, I carried the weight for a while and all the men were ignoring me for my older sister who always got men easily. she has been married 3 times while I am 45 never been married. I don't know when the first time I felt "this is why I am fat" but when I was about 8 my dad said to me when my older sister was putting on a tantrum- "give her what she wants to shut her up" and this became a pattern all our lives. now this girl has not been happy til I am slammed and killed into the ground she hates me so much and has been saying that to me for the last 11 or more years after each marriage and new "fuck victory" she find (pardon the french but that is all it is to her)... I think I as the middle child was shy and been sexually abused by an old drunk man who lived near by made me feel worthless that day when my dad said that to me - that I had to keep giving this older sister, this girl who never grew up what she wanted while I felt helpless defeated and a fatty joke. I did so much for her- look after her baby, prop her up for each husband, put make up on her for parties and nighclubbing while literally no one noticed I had a need or feeling. no one cared what the hell I did how hurt and lonely I was, so long as this other girl was smiling and happy and getting people to love her and getting them to hate me. i couldn't do enough to try to win her love. even last when I lost weight I felt bad and went to a size 6 from 16 I stayed away from her, then I started gaining the weight the more I was rejected by men and the more she was getting married and her man I was not allowed to meet, last year I exercised every night sometimes for 3 hours a day and I take antidepresants that doctors say don't make you gain weight I don't agree, I don't over indulge a lot only sometimes when I get into cake as a treat once a month or a few cheese and crackers, instead of fruit. but last year when I got dress up with my mum to go to a high tea my mum sent my sister a photo of us together and my sister proudly said when I came home "I sent it to my husband allan in the Filipponines and he said you are a ugly fat cow" I started watching porn films of women mooing in cow shit and thinking I was a cow. I met a woman who said to me i had to bark like a dog before any many would love me. and I started barking like a dog in my room on the bed. like I had to live it out at some level. as a child I even cut my genitals because I blamed that part of my body for that dirty old man touching me there. recently I had to have byopsies done in the vaginal area from a vaginal itch and after rape I had a stroke and feared stds so much but nothing ever showed in pathology results. I have put on weight and now a size 18-20 this year from last years size 16 and yeh I made a pact to lose weight but I feel I need motivation and help more then ever, since I was in and out of hospital and I had several re-occuring middle ear infections since a car accident I am truey greatful to be alive and I watch a lot of videos from loeylane and other girls about positive body love, but I get no real help at church or from friends or family. I asked my mum "why does my older sister need to say all these hurtful things to me and abuse me and would someone please have the balls to ask this girl- when are you going to allow your sister to marry and feel like a lady? and have a baby? "mum, how broken do I have to be to make this girl feel good about herself, keep giving her what she wants, all the men wanting her over me, her having the babies and weddings every other year? when will someone stand up to this girl and say "enough is enough" I want to tell her that myself but she just screams at me. it needs to come from someone she least would suspects n admires n male. so when am I going to stop allowing my sister to keep me fat? is my question maybe? That is SO wrong of her. You are not worthless, you are not a cow, a dog, a pig, anything like that. I am so sorry you are going through this. I would love to stand up to her for you to be honest. Would you be open to a 3 way zoom call where you can confront her with a third party? how much more broken do I have to be for you to be a happy loved women rose, joyce, katy robo-dog and kelly etc?

i will fart and shit in your face nigga south american nuvo poop skin!!!! you will learn hate!!!

Pride Abuse Hate

Upper Class Isn't it interesting how money can completely change a person's perspective on life? I was brought up in an upper-middle class home from 1999-2008, but lived a poverty-stricken lifestyle from 2008-2013. I've lived both extremes: from house parties every weekend to going to a food bank to get basic necessities. I've continued to live in my upper-middle class city since I was born, but after some years, I've realized the emptiness that resides within the lives of so many people there. I'm going to talk about the high school I went to in Southern California. If you were to spend a day looking around campus, you would find it like any other high school in the United States. Most of the students, however, have grown up in mansions estimated to around $400k to $7 million. In the particular high school I come from, most reside on the higher end. When you listen to their conversations, however, you'll have to take a step back. You have students complaining about other students who don't have the latest IPhone edition. Hell, I even saw a kid break his IPhone 7 because he wanted an IPhone 7+. You have students complaining about how their parents are only going to pay a "portion" of their college funds. Many don't value the concept of a family and see their parents as useless assholes. They complain about not getting the car type or model they wanted. They look down upon others who don't share the same economic status as them or struggle in any way financially. Money is a non-existent problem to most, and it's despicable to see them so blissfully ignorant of the distress it brings so many other people in this world. Most are ungrateful assholes who don't understand the concept of a job. Most act like getting a job at Target or Starbucks is a hefty job, and I'm sure it is at times, but realistically, most people work a 9 to 5 job, multiple jobs, or a career job that they have to put true work into. Working at Target and Starbucks may be difficult at times, but it doesn't require true work. I'm not one to generalize, but holy shit, these kids deserve to be generalized. I'm sure most will grow up to be successful, but undoubtedly detached human beings. They are people just like us, but most of their values and morals are in another world. These kids come from the same parents whose mothers' bitch about Starbucks not having their coffee on time or attending their fathers' golf tournament every Sunday morning. Maybe I'm too harsh on these kids, but honestly, most of the ones I've talked to are hypnotized by the power of money. They've engulfed themselves into the meaninglessness of popular culture and actively participate in the selfishness and borderline narcissism of social media. I'm not saying popular culture and social media are entirely those characteristics, I'm just saying that these kids reside indefinitely on the ugly side of the two.

Upper Class Isn't it interesting how money can completely change a person's perspective on life? ...

Pride

Okay so um to everyone who might read this and wants a good story then read this. What I’m looking for is comments/advice. Thank you! So I’m a freshman in a pretty academically tough high school. I was expecting freshman year to be a blast, but I was so terribly wrong. Now, in this school, everyone is new to each other which means you don’t know anyone and no one knows you. Clean slate. Whoever you were back in middle school, has nothing to do with you anymore. Okay so anyway, I was a big nerd in middle school so I wanted to be cool and popular and all that jazz. And so i did become popular. And what comes with popularity? Guys. I met this guy and I thought he was so sweet and stuff so we started dating after the first month of high school. In middle school, I had no experience with guys and never had a fight with my friends so I didn’t know anything about consequences or the bad side in people. Fast forward a couple weeks, I realize he’s a douchebag and things weren’t working out so I broke up with him. My boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him got around the entire school so everyone (even people I didn’t know) knew my name and they said some not very good things about me. But, I didn’t really care because I was me and I didn’t care what others thought about me. So a month later, I meet this really hot and funny guy. We were talking for a couple weeks and then came a party where he hooked up and it was my first kiss. Of course, this got around the ENTIRE SCHOOL and I was called a hoe. I didn’t know about this until way later. So then, i’ve just had my first hook up and my body was craving for more so we developed a fwb relationship. Yes i know, these relationships never end well and I started to develop feelings for him. I decided to end it because I was wasting my time thinking about him and I just didn’t want to get involved with him any longer. So in the time span of a couple months after that, I was doing alright. I was just trying to figure out who my true friends were and struggling with that. And in the meantime, people were calling me very bad names. Let me name a few: bitch, hoe, slut, etc. After a couple months, I meet this cute guy (let’s substitute his name with T) who’s not in my grade (older). And we were talking for a bit and I finally break it to him that I like him. He tells me that he likes me too and i’m like AWESOME WHOO I DID IT! Right? Of course, the answer is NO! His best friend, (let’s just have his name as U) told me that T’s friends were telling him to play with me and toy with my heart because i was “such a hoe”. Plus, T was going around and making bets with everyone that he could “win me over”. So U tells me this and I confront T, and he lies and tells me that everything I heard wasn’t true and U and T get into a big fight. So then U and I become best friends and i’m very happy because I didn’t have such a close friend. I told him everything about me and what I was feelings, etc. Things were going okay until this other guy rolls around and he and i talk for a while and we even cuddle. Next day, barely even looks at me, talks to me, etc. Now, I’m like what in the world happened? So U tells me that he did that by mistake and he really “didn’t mean it” and that he’s sorry. Okay well, I was eh about it. I was kinda hurt but I tried to get over it. But then all of a sudden, my best friend U, cuts off ALL CONTACT WITH ME. Blocks me on social media, avoids me at school, doesn’t even talk to me, and more. So I’m horribly devastated. I thought I finally found my best friend and he just leaves me like nothing ever happened between us. I’m crying my ass off and it looks like he doesn’t care about me. I plead with him to just talk to me, just to acknowledge me and he never replies.. So I tell myself, you know what, guys are idiots just don’t talk to them anymore. So I decide not to. After maybe a couple months I find my best friends and I’m having somewhat of a good time. I’m having good time in terms of my friends but not so good time with my reputation. People were calling me, again, slut, bitch, hoe, etc. more than ever. But because i decided to lie low, it got better. And I’m not meaning to brag but I am a very good person. I have given people second chances when they sure as hell don’t deserve it. Because that’s what good people do, give others a chance. During this time, U wants forgiveness and I give it to him. Okay so just recently, this really hot guy DM’s me and says he just wants to talk. I’m extremely suspicious but i decide to give it a try. We talk, and it turns out he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He was so genuine and so sweet and pretty soon, he asked me out on a date. So we postpone the date because we were both extremely busy for finals and stuff (he’s a junior, rising senior now). And we hook up a couple times and then I sense something off. We used to be texting lovey dovey but then it started to decrease. I assumed it was because of the workload we both had, but there had to be another reason. Also, when we met up in person, all he wanted to do was hook up and not talk. So I was getting mad suspicious. Finally, it happened. He texts me one day and asks “can we not go to the movies because i’m busy with college stuff and I don’t want a time commitment thing right now” Guess what I replied? I was getting stronger and better with myself so I told him, “if you just want a hook up girl, then I’m not the right girl for you sorry”. He says okay i just don’t want a commitment thing and I just say, mhm okay. Btw, no one except for like 10 people in total knew about our relationship. We didn’t want it getting around, so we kept it low and told very very few people. I’m so glad we did, because no one can judge me or call me bad names. So that was my life, there have been more incidents but those were with girls. This was purely guy problems. Throughout this year I have learned a lot about myself. I learned that 1)most guys will look for the same thing: a girl to hook up with. So i’ have to be extremely careful. 2) don’t tell people things. It only makes the situation worse. 3) you have to fucking love yourself, because honestly you don’t need anyone else’s love except for yours. I hated myself for a while but i”m so proud of myself and how even through all of those experiences, I am still here and standing. I am still the kind girl I’ve always wanted to be and nothing can stop me now. Now, it’s your turn. Do you have any comments to relate, or vent about? Do you have any advice for me?

Okay so um to everyone who might read this and wants a good story then read this. What I’m looking f...

Pride Hacking

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i will fart and shit in your face nigga south american nuvo poop skin!!!! you will learn hate!!!