I binge and purge eveyday. Sometimes I binge and purge eveyday. Sometimes twice a day. I'm worried Ill get throat cancer, Im worried if my sister knew she'd never speak to me again. I dont like living with her, she wont let me be myself. I dont want to need help or be sick. I want to be strong and stand for myself. I turn 20 this month, but I feel more immature than when I was 13. I'm so unhappy, but I dont think I could ever leave, I dont know where I would go. I want to be strong and healthy enough to be happy here. I have so much to be thankful for, but I keep making myself pick, and pertetuating new problems for myself. Im sacred that if I was healthy and happy, Id have to take responsability for my life, for all I havn't accomplished, for how beind I feel with everything, for how much I've hurt those I used to be closest to, for how much I've hurt myself.

I binge and purge eveyday. Sometimes I binge and purge eveyday. Sometimes twice a day. I'm worried Ill get throat cancer, Im worried if my sister knew she'd never speak to me again. I dont like living with her, she wont let me be myself. I dont want to need help or be sick. I want to be strong and stand for myself. I turn 20 this month, but I feel more immature than when I was 13. I'm so unhappy, but I dont think I could ever leave, I dont know where I would go. I want to be strong and healthy enough to be happy here. I have so much to be thankful for, but I keep making myself pick, and pertetuating new problems for myself. Im sacred that if I was healthy and happy, Id have to take responsability for my life, for all I havn't accomplished, for how beind I feel with everything, for how much I've hurt those I used to be closest to, for how much I've hurt myself.

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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

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please stop judging me. stop calling me short, fat, and ugly. you guys say OH WHY DIDN'T YOU LOSE WEIGHT EARLIER IF YOU WANTED LOVE AND WORK? WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THIS OR THAT TO PERFECTION? well as if you were any perfection when you were part of the problem stopping me from blooming! LIKE I SAID AGES ON HERE< THAT SONG FROM ICEHOUSE IS ME MY VERSION OF "MY OBSESSION" IS- MY DEPRESSION < MY DEPRESSION IS YOU, THE GHOST OF YOU THAT GETS ME EVERYTIME, WON'T LET GO TIL IT BRINGS ME DOWN, BLA BLA BLA, MY DEPRESSION IS YOU YEH ITS YOU, "that i never do anything and that i should get my lazy ass up. but every time i try to do something, all i receive is criticism and hurtful comments. why do you guys keep bring my confidence down and crushing my self esteem. it hurts so much that i cant even say anything but cry to myself. you guys never agree to the things a like and just throw me aside. when i try to obedient, you guys say im boring. when i try to be nice you guys tell me to stop being a push over. when i be mean or make one small mistake, i suddenly become the world biggest bitch. what is it that you guys want from me!? what can i ever to do to make you guys satisfied? its hurts. i dont want to do anything anymore. i feel so small and suffocated. your my family and yet i have to prepare myself to face hateful comments whenever i want to do or say something. the fact that i have to prepare myself and knowing that i will get bulllshit makes me feel so so so fucking pathetic. all of you are so different from your actions. you all keep saying that i should be grateful bc you are wasting money to raise me. arent you just saying that im a waste? how can i be fucking grateful when i keep getting hurt from your words!?! does that even make sense?!?! should i say yes thank you so much for wasting your precious money to raise a pathetic human being like me!? NO FUCKING NO I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS. I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT TO BE GOOD AND OBEDIENT BUT NONE OF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME. NONE OF YOU PRAISE OR COMPLEMENT ME. ALL I GET IS FUCKING BULLSHIT OF WHY ARE YOU SO FAT UGLY, NOTHING ABOUT ME EVER GOOD ENOUGH NO MATTER WHAT I STUDY OR DO OR WHATEVER I BEEN DONE, SO I KEEP A LOT SECRET NOW, ONLY SHOW GLIMPSES OF THE REAL ME TO ANYONE. WHY CANT YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE WORTH TO BOTHER. HOW OLD ARE YOU THAT U CANT EVEN DO SOMETHING THAT EASY. YOUR SO SLOW GROW UP. just stop talking. i dont want to hear it anymore. stooping calling me out when you are doing the same thing. plz just stop talking. i wont be able to take it anymore. just stop already.

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