yeh well I reckon russel was going around saying i was gay and told some other guys to stay away from me so he could have me all alone and I think ken might have done this and a few other guys, so this is why I was not getting to meet new guys openly because I always wondered why a lot of guys my own age were not more interested in me. if these assholes only knew the trouble they cause in someones life stealing the love they could have had with someone better. like lacky lee of 12 was not my ideal. and the idiot who has called me a rough diamond to be honest, at first I was offended because I was never called that by teachers and other people who knew me well infact I was told the opposite that I was very well spoken and wrote very good assignments and had a great use of the english language and articulate and teachers would tell me I was very eloquent in responses to exam assignments in such short time to deviler good arguments etc so anyway then I figured after hearing a guy talking I though ok if I am a rough diamond you want to know what I think of most of boofoon losers I have met skank class to be honest. my parents always taught me too much to be polite to rude and stupid people and tolerate them but that has no helped me much. the test of good manners is to tolerate bad my parents always used to say to me. or if you can't say something nice say nothing at all and I life by this more then not. but now I just think a rough diamond is before its prime and lusture and shine, at least if I am a rough diamond (which I don't think I am) to me a rough diamond is brash and like richard branson or trump etc, or worse, but I guess rough diamonds are in vogue in a way because we get to polish ourselves up. people are forgiving to mistakes of certain people but not others? which is strange. I don't feel like a rough diamond at all really. I am just a cranky grumpy old bitch who has been hurt, and I just tell people now when they have hurt me like somewhere forgot during all the sarina russo reprogramming depersonalization program of isolation and destruction of self worth that I even had a right to have feelings. wow what a new concept!

yeh well I reckon russel was going around saying i was gay and told some other guys to stay away from me so he could have me all alone and I think ken might have done this and a few other guys, so this is why I was not getting to meet new guys openly because I always wondered why a lot of guys my own age were not more interested in me. if these assholes only knew the trouble they cause in someones life stealing the love they could have had with someone better. like lacky lee of 12 was not my ideal. and the idiot who has called me a rough diamond to be honest, at first I was offended because I was never called that by teachers and other people who knew me well infact I was told the opposite that I was very well spoken and wrote very good assignments and had a great use of the english language and articulate and teachers would tell me I was very eloquent in responses to exam assignments in such short time to deviler good arguments etc so anyway then I figured after hearing a guy talking I though ok if I am a rough diamond you want to know what I think of most of boofoon losers I have met skank class to be honest. my parents always taught me too much to be polite to rude and stupid people and tolerate them but that has no helped me much. the test of good manners is to tolerate bad my parents always used to say to me. or if you can't say something nice say nothing at all and I life by this more then not. but now I just think a rough diamond is before its prime and lusture and shine, at least if I am a rough diamond (which I don't think I am) to me a rough diamond is brash and like richard branson or trump etc, or worse, but I guess rough diamonds are in vogue in a way because we get to polish ourselves up. people are forgiving to mistakes of certain people but not others? which is strange. I don't feel like a rough diamond at all really. I am just a cranky grumpy old bitch who has been hurt, and I just tell people now when they have hurt me like somewhere forgot during all the sarina russo reprogramming depersonalization program of isolation and destruction of self worth that I even had a right to have feelings. wow what a new concept!
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More from 'Pride' category

i don't want to share my things with others really unless i am paid for it and get something valuable back in return. I don't own a house or car and i could do with a house of my own and a career. Its too late for children and I really feel my health is too risky to bare children now. I get regular skin bleeding around the vagina area from the auto-immune disorder that i thought when i was 25 was hiv aids and herpes and syphilis or tb also of the ear and i was running round having blood tests all the time to check. its still a fear in me that ken who raped me gave me hiv aids. I never wanted a loser like him and I don't ever want to see him again and my mother and father have said they would murder him. it would ease my mind to know a lot of people who i hate who attacked me are dead like robodog and rick and ken and so i could just move on to a new life without them as part of it. they were never ment to be in my life book and i want a new chapter that is very choosi about who is welcome in my life and they are not welcome. there is a lot of people not welcome. and looking for honest respectful people they don't have to be rich. I am just sick of being forced to make do and told how to feel and expected to give when i don't want to anymore. i don't want to be nice to many people anymore. i am cynical and sarcastic now. I love being around people who make fun of the rich and uperty and fake asses out there and scammers. I done penance for being abused child now. putting up with brisbane and the people here is penance. i hate them.

i don't want to share my things with others really unless i am paid for it and get something valuabl...