i was a rare time for me to go out nightclubbing about all of less then a dozen times in all my 44 years of life I have been in a nightclub less then a dozen times because I don't like drinking much, I don't like smoking and when I do go out at night I prefer to go to nice places and get a good night sleep, i often go through emotional upset when I am bashed and i lose the guy because the bitch with the power get them and i hurts but sometimes i go study or i just turn off emotions and just its easier to just say "well some of us are just not ment to be loved, but i have justice on my side?" or i left a job due to sexual harasment after being so fat and losing weight and i just didn't need someone destroying what little confidence i had about myself or body. and those people know they killed me, they just like being that way. and i have to learn to avoid them and if that means avoid men too so i do. i would rather have my pride and i always need to be right more then i need to be loved! - i mean the dream police and brehon judges in me, i can't change who i am .