i don't want to share my things with others really unless i am paid for it and get something valuable back in return. I don't own a house or car and i could do with a house of my own and a career. Its too late for children and I really feel my health is too risky to bare children now. I get regular skin bleeding around the vagina area from the auto-immune disorder that i thought when i was 25 was hiv aids and herpes and syphilis or tb also of the ear and i was running round having blood tests all the time to check. its still a fear in me that ken who raped me gave me hiv aids. I never wanted a loser like him and I don't ever want to see him again and my mother and father have said they would murder him. it would ease my mind to know a lot of people who i hate who attacked me are dead like robodog and rick and ken and so i could just move on to a new life without them as part of it. they were never ment to be in my life book and i want a new chapter that is very choosi about who is welcome in my life and they are not welcome. there is a lot of people not welcome. and looking for honest respectful people they don't have to be rich. I am just sick of being forced to make do and told how to feel and expected to give when i don't want to anymore. i don't want to be nice to many people anymore. i am cynical and sarcastic now. I love being around people who make fun of the rich and uperty and fake asses out there and scammers. I done penance for being abused child now. putting up with brisbane and the people here is penance. i hate them.