I got my licence I got my license, even still your too damn far for me to get to. Too far for me to reach. It wouldn't matter if I had a jet, I would never find you. Your dead. There aren't enough words in my damn body to exsplain what my souls going through right now. The numbing pain constantly shooting through my body. No words to descrie this feeling. Not enough tears to flay my skin wide open and prove my wounds. I want to kill myself. Want to drown myself in the ocean. Want to die. I want the waves to carry me to nowhere. Take me into the darkeness of the night sky in all it's glory, the stars taking a piece if my soul, ripping me aprart, scattering me across the whole world. It's all part of a plan. This us all part of a better world that I'm bot apart of. I want this world to cry my tears and scream my pain. I have nothing and every breath brings me to my last, my first. You are nothing without me. Because I am dead. I'm dead. Dead. Where am my going to go when I'm dead. Somebody, god please hear my prayers. Somebody please help me.

I got my licence I got my license, even still your too damn far for me to get to. Too far for me to reach. It wouldn't matter if I had a jet, I would never find you. Your dead. There aren't enough words in my damn body to exsplain what my souls going through right now. The numbing pain constantly shooting through my body. No words to descrie this feeling. Not enough tears to flay my skin wide open and prove my wounds. I want to kill myself. Want to drown myself in the ocean. Want to die. I want the waves to carry me to nowhere. Take me into the darkeness of the night sky in all it's glory, the stars taking a piece if my soul, ripping me aprart, scattering me across the whole world. It's all part of a plan. This us all part of a better world that I'm bot apart of. I want this world to cry my tears and scream my pain. I have nothing and every breath brings me to my last, my first. You are nothing without me. Because I am dead. I'm dead. Dead. Where am my going to go when I'm dead. Somebody, god please hear my prayers. Somebody please help me.

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its unlikely that I can ever be able to have epiduals with birth because of the vein narrowing disorder I have and from all injuries to my brain neurology from the mastoid infections and car accident and I have done enough study to understand this, do you understand??? do you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkffBv4sh4U so when they talk of sinuses there are more then just nasal, hello stupids. its like having a shower turned on with hormonal issues to do with the potassium/ sodium cell pump and my heart problems from all the broken heart pain and doctors have failed to ease any pain I endure.

its unlikely that I can ever be able to have epiduals with birth because of the vein narrowing disor...

Pride Abuse Hate Violence

Type in youtube "I have no friends" its really interesting, or "why I left university or college" or "I resigned from my job" so many people give up and are happier for it because you will just be expected to work fast and long and die young in work. once you turn 25 or 30 no one wants you for work or relationships. and if you say your getting none (ie as in s or work) people just won't like you and will pass you up. when was the last time someone asked a celibate chick waiting or mr right to go on a date with them without any stress to it or expecting s? see the girls who give up s are more likely to value the s over the ones that just keep getting married all the time and have s with heaps of men. people think crying in s means real love it doesn't, that is just how worthless that person feels and just having s for sad rape and sicko stuff is a waste of time too and most people are unemotional or only emotional when their feelings have been hurt but that don't equal true love. real love is not always painful, just like all rapes don't just happen in underground car parks at night or being pushed into bushes in the dark paths at night. rape is real for most women. why worry about love when you can have a pretend friend and everything is about self care in therapy today.Its best to focus on you. I did a law degree another way and never told anyone and the direction will come when your mind opens to new things. don't focus on the bad of others rotting at you. that is there s* and garbage not yours. no matter what you got to make the next 20 or more years of life about you and enjoy it and not about the people who hurt you continue to hurt you. I would get off the internet for a while. don't post anything on sites for a while, get rid of all your fb accounts etc so people can't get into your space and time and then come back slowly like on annon sites now and then. use the net for entertainment and education and fun not for revenge other then via the legal authorities and if they can't help you then move and start new somewhere else and a holiday alone sometimes just going a nice place can help you get lost to find the other better you inside of you. that's what I did. I have family but as for men sworn off them. men are rubbish today cuz the women are rubbish as well. if you have morals you are gonna stand out like a sore thumb and probably be more alone than not. intelligent people have fewer friends and relationships. love is temporary but like as the song says "diamonds are forever, so too is herpes" so love aint worth all the illnesses like mono, and everything else to hiv and worry and if you do get lucky and find someone do it on holiday and don't tell anyone. no one. not even your closest family or parents.Law degrees are a dime a dozen now, and 75% of university graduates will never work and a lot drop out because of stress and money and relationships and jobs etc. you will find putting millions into education or on a loan is not worth it anymore. the people who have the jobs are not letting anyone get ahead and they won't give them up. so why bother be a drop out and enjoy life there is more to life then working and career and degrees and relationships.

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this process of getting rid of certain unsavory relatives and people with mum is a process where by I down cry everyone and remove them, afterall my aunty was invited over a week ago to an event has not responded and there is only so long I should have to wait for a response from her when she wants an answer straight away when she invites us places and I am sick of people doing this to me. anyway her love is cold and unreliable and untrusting. I don't trust my female cousin she is a liar and I don't want her there. she has too many husbands and kids out of control. I don't want to mix with people out of control. I am a person of order. so I don't know why my aunty didn't respond to my mothers message but I am sick of paying out money and then people leave me high and dry and I am not dancing anyones tune. it won't hurt them if they didn't know anyway, but my aunty is welcome and the invite to her stands but not to others maybe her son and his wife but that is about it. people expect to answer clear 'yes or no' to invites and all i ever got from karon was "oh unless i get a better offer" so you know that means "your not worth putting myself out for and any man would be a better offer then your company" and I know my aunty won't invite us to any nye event and as dad says we don't want to look like we are after her money cuz we aren't. we don't care. everyone is richer then us and we just don't care about their money.

this process of getting rid of certain unsavory relatives and people with mum is a process where by ...