i just tried some pear and cheese and jaz crackers sometimes I have that before going to bed and I have half a glass of juice (not the time you are thinking not dangerous or sugary) and trying to enjoy eating it which is hard for me. dinner was interesting mum went to a lot of effort and did this tomato bean soup with kale and chickpea and meat balls and sour cream on top with parsley. I could have forgone everything but the parsley to be honest the way I feel. lunch was a struggle to eat 1 slice of wholemeal bread and beans and cheese and milk chai thing with yogurt drink. breakfast I had 1 quarter of a cup of oats as always and some fruit but I woke up at 2am and had some crust and marmalade jam and tea cuz I couldn't sleep I am so stressed out over elisa if she is going to fraud me and the bank so after I came home from a medical procedure I was so agressive and annoyed I yelled and sent hate emails to my bank calling them a bunch of cUnz! yeh well when I have a bad day and I was in pain some one is going to cop it ! i felt dam violated I tell you. bloody insult.

so this lawyer who has all these nazi 3rd Reich huge books in his cabinet was interviewing and openly masturbating himself on the other side of the desk while talking to me, that was weird, I admit I for a change took advantage of my weight loss and wore a short shift dress that was beige and crepe material and I loved the dress i couldnt believe I had the confidence to wear it or i was that thin because I was so shy and sexually un-informed or just not a flirty woman, but now and then I do dress up a bit to build up my confidence but that was a shock to me, and it was un-nerving for some really fat old guy to do that and the cops had just left because he sacked the receptionist and there had been some break in so I was like "I don't think this is the right job for me anyway", I mean I am so sexually shy it more likely to me the type to have secret crushes on men and masturbate in private its not that that really offended its the whole scene it was like some dream it strange and I was shocked a professional would openly do that at a meeting and he was strange with all the nazi stuff I would sooner talk that crap down. and it was a dodgy area at springwood. bloody strange. to openly do that at an interview its my god, man, at least you could wait til I leave, and he was acting like it was just normal ???? to do that in public ? it was no compliment anyway. he was old and married and strange. I don't think I could work in that.

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