I didn't take the garbage out

Pride Anger Hate Questioning God Stupidity

Its not that i forgot, its not that i have a problem with my back [ok, maybe i have...] but i just hate doing stuff that are normal day to day tasks

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I have screwed around all day doing things at the last minute. cooking and cleaning took the kids up to have a swim at the local pools and back. but all I did was dangle my foot in and talk to the guard who was boring.

I have screwed around all day doing things at the last minute. cooking and cleaning took the kids up...

I am sad all the time about my life and I feel embarrassed about my resume and work history and the waste of time university study and why I was never good enough for anything, I feel like I cant have a relationship or baby til I have a job, rick said that is how life is and he is American so it has to be right, so I was told there was no point looking for love or romance or having babies with a job, not that a job helped much anyway and what pitiful efforts that I was doing paralegal/justice diploma and law degree and dropped out after being raped and had a strong I have studied a lot of short courses in health and lots of things and find study online so lonely and I feel my future is depressing with not much hope for skills, employment and relationships without a job your a nobody. I was bullied at Sarina Russo Job access and she made me fat not allowing me to study for 10 years or work or stick to my diet and exercise my back surgeon and psychiatrist wanted me to and she wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted to do. we had no choice she made me go on DEN before I even had a physical illness and would reject doctors advice letters and override them making my life so shut down without marriage, love, romance, fun, social life or income for over a decade that woman abused me like an insane ferret. Now I am 45 no husband no babies and my current doctors have said this has had a psychological hurt for me that these people didn't help me enough and what they did was evil. I left wellington pt family practice due to their laziness and getting my medical records mixed up with another person and their incompetence in treating my child sexual abuse issues and rape and stroke, all round very negligent lazy pathetic doctors there but for Dr Hill, Dr Greenbury and Dr Sarath. not impressed by RSL girl in a million quest and navy for allowing ken carey from hms melville to rape me and would like someone to sue them on my behalf to help me so far no law firm will help no parliamentary minister will help, not even the royal commission into child sexual abuse in institutions will help me and its so frustrating. my father went through the exact same thing being abused and thrown on the job and relationship scrap heap when he was 45 I was thrown there at 25.

I am sad all the time about my life and I feel embarrassed about my resume and work history and the ...

I have always been able to pick up old fart men, old women, stray animals and wild animals, kids, retarted people or even foreigners who can't speak a word of english, like one day this foreign woman came running up to me screaming for some sort of help and she couldn't speak a word of english. and I felt so awful I tried to help? but confused how to. one day a autistic woman came screaming around the neighborhood looking for Bear, he had got out and she was screaming "oh no Bear, Bear is out what am I going to do help, I will get into trouble" like over and over for about 30 mins and I came out to see what the problem was so she came over to me and it took a while for me to calm her down she was so convinced she would be punished by her family over it, she was well into her 30s with obvious disorder, weird men will come up to me, one old weird european man used to hang out his window and call out to me when I was going to the train to go to college or university, "want a cup of tea or coffee" and shaking his cup and I was saying "No I can't I have to catch a train for schoolwork, you know study and writting things down and reading" he didn't get it. anyway, i have dont know what is is aboutme, my mum says its because I don't look intimidating and I have a calming gentle repose about me, one of my bosses said that too, I couldn't see it in me. because if only they knew what I was thinking. the other day a guy with autism and intellectual disorder wanting shake my hand and I didn't even know who he was. other people have done this to me as well. when I was working foriegn men would follow me around the hotel while I was trying to clean, they couldn't speak a bloody word of english. and then working in medical reception all these severely intellectually disability patients, and people would say, "oh you cope well with them" but to be honest they frighten me.

I have always been able to pick up old fart men, old women, stray animals and wild animals, kids, re...