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I didn't take the garbage out

PrideAngerHateQuestioning GodStupidity
Its not that i forgot, its not that i have a problem with my back [ok, maybe i have...] but i just hate doing stuff that are normal day to day tasks
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I don't know what man to like because everywhere I go I get attacked or hounded and bullied by other women or other men to the point I was considering becoming a leso but its not really my scene I like men too much. I just want to get married and would marry most men but most of the men my age now remind me of the old pedophile who molested me so I feel sickened and turned off and because of weight gain I am not interested in sex much. sex is something I am only interested in when thin and I have money because I know men only really want rich thin women. the whole has been set up for me to fail. thanks ugly world for bullying me away from every men I really loved, wrecking every career dream and marriage with a baby or two dream. you wonder why I hate kate middleton and other slutty dogs like her. they don't even deserve their kids and marriages and careers that have come too easy. I just look at a female friend because most men I meet are crap. thanks joyce poorter for not listening and deliberately hurting me like this. just thanks for the abuse - why didnt you go abuse the therapist who harmed you and not take it out on a woman who needed a young man when I was young. now its all too late. I will probably die young now. I have no hope left in me to find love or employment. I always get told i have no skills how ugly i have always been. I was a ugly hated child. i was never allowed to feel like a pretty bride or mother with my own baby. you will pay for that one day all the haters are gonna pay for this! or someone will make your kids pay and their kids for abusing me.

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I can not bare the sight of smug smerk shh princess kate she is just so arrogant and flippant and rude and abusive towards me and all she has ever done is bully me with all the royals. that is all they know how to do is bully and abuse. they can't help people, they don't ask you what you even want to know anyway, like all men if they are happy they think the woman should be and most women arent happy and if you interviewed most women whose men think they are happy they would say no, he is and he thinks I am but I am not happy, because happiness is different things to differnet people. like love to me going out all the time for dinner and parties and nightclubs and concerts and exercising and buying houses and holidaying and working and being valued and liked. where as love to you is sitting on a lounge chair together crying - sorry but not my scene. love to me is being given diamonds and flowers and driving around in a expensive luxuary car and plush housing with everything I need. love is about looking good and feeling good, love is not fat and old and sad and depressed the way you and ken and everyone has made me. I was only ever feeling joy and love when I was thin and in the city working or studying and busy meeting a lot of people and getting money for it.

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love to me is being able to wear the wedding dress of your dreams in a church and a lovely wedding day and diamonds and foods and being treated like your worth being invited to parties and events by others and being appreciated, helping do community things and getting rewards for it and having friends put on a suprise birthday party for me, love to me is being given choices and feelings of "you are good enough", love to me is getting the high income pay cheque in some corporate office or academic profession , or why is it all the psychology i did, all the university all the law , all the health study all the things I have done - nothing is ever good enough. I have no skills, I have nothing any man would want but fat old losers? why? why is everyone else allowed a men of their choice and baby and wedding but me? and I this always being forced out with losers like russell or parker or gossing or ken who were dead boring depressing morbid losers I couldn't stand. why cant I bash a women for a man like katey did. why can't i be like joyce with a police husband who looks cute and treat young women like shit likee she did to me? why cant I have a corporate job or own investments that would make your ass fall off? like other people are allowed to. why am I the one that always has to be reasonable and sensible and everyone else is allowe to be stupid, violent and rude and nasty but me, why do I have to have more self control than anyone and everyone else I know or around me??????? NO ONE HAS THE SELF CONTROL I HAVE AND I AM SICK OF IT. I WANT TO BASH WOMEN. I WANT TO BASH CERTAIN MEN. I DON'T TRUST A LOT OF PEOPLE ANYMORE. WE NEED TO WIN A LOTTERY TO GO ON THIS CRUISE CUZ WITH WORK I CAN'T DO IT, I CAN'T SAVE WITHOUT WORK. I SHOULD HAVE EMPLOYMENT AND I AM A BETTER PERSON THAT SARINA RUSSO OR MOST WOMEN ACTUALLY.

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