all in one

i'll only do one of these just to get it off my conscious so that i know that it's out there somewhere: <ul> <li>i'm bi, nobody knows and my mother happened to make an off hand comment about if she ever found out one of her children were with someone of the same sex she would disown them</li> <li>i'm in love with my best friends, but she doesn't know it</li> <li>i'm a girl and my best friend is a girl too</li> <li>i hate my father, i'll never forgive him and i don't feel bad about it because he was given ample times to mend his ways...he didn't now he is out of the picture, and i am glad</li> <li>i've chosen wicca as my religion, but my mother doesn't know</li> <li>my family is catholic, they don't like jewish people or other religions, they think it is stupid and i'm ashamed of them</li> <li>my mother has made a lot of racial comments about people, mostly african americans, and i'm ashamed of her</li> <li>i have a lot of gay friends but i won't come out of the closet as a bisexual even though they would accept me because i'm too guarded and ashamed</li> <li>i can admit all this anonymously on the internet, but not even to myself in a diary or to a close friend, for that, i'm truly sorry because i don't have as much trust in them as i should</li> </ul>
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Affair with married maid. I am a married person, have 2 kids (9 & 5 yrs son & daughter). My wife is 18 years younger to me. I am in my late 40’s now. I am in love with my mother's maid, she is a mother of five and was married at a very young age of 13 as common in our country. She was raped by her married uncle before she got married to a person with no family and home just because she was stigmatized as a rape victim and her father thought that no good person would marry her. She works at different houses in our neighborhood to earn and feed her children and husband and to meet her household budget. When she asks her husband to work and support her, she is harshly abused by him (physically and mentally). But she doesn’t have the courage to retaliate. She is in her early 30’s now but very gorgeous – the hallmark of her personality which attracted me. Though I know her for years, have fantasized her many times in past but it was only 6 months ago (while she was working in our kitchen), I felt she was inclined towards me and I felt the same. She disclosed that she loved me. After that, we are having s** at regular intervals. When I move to other cities for work, we communicate on phone but she seldom shares her personal life with me. I know it’s hard for her because of a male dominant society and an oppressed and obedient wife. I have no idea how she exactly feels about her husband and me. Though she says she loves me but also says that her husband has the primary right over her life and she belongs to him. This hurts me very badly. It is so difficult for me to accept her husband as her husband and to thing that he is controlling her life. Though she says she loves me, but I wonder if it’s true. Even though I know we can’t be together, yet I often find myself thinking about ways to marry her. I know she wont leave her husband as it would not be acceptable by the society and she will be more stigmatized if she does and in presence of 4 sons who are now growing up. The eldest is already studying in a college. She is the most beautiful woman ever who came into my life, and I don’t want to lose her at any cost. No women have ever made me feel the way she does. Life feels deserted knowing she can’t be with me all the nights because of her husband. On the other hand I also feel guilty about cheating my wife and indulging myself in a vicious cycle of infatuation. She dominates my life. Her thoughts, her want has disabled my mind to think constructively about my life. I don’t know what to do? I need help, but don’t want to stop as well.

Affair with married maid. I am a married person, have 2 kids (9 & 5 yrs son & daughter). My wife is ...