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just feeling like life is hopeless. was supposed to go out yesterday to a show and today to a show and I was so tired and I woke up with really bad back pain and I was thinking "Oh just go you will only ache in the back at home, why not ache in the back out for a while looking at other things meeting new people" but I was like "I have nothing to wear" I feel so ugly and fat and why should I bother, I said to mum I think I will get so fat I can only fit into a huge robe towel only and just watch every bitch who has abused me wear all my pretty clothes and self punishment and penance that the bayside family christain church said I had to go through penance for the abuse in my childhood. so I guess I have to set my punishment daily ! and I told my nephew/god son to never speak to me again cuz the publishing company from filiofuckoland kept calling every time I spoke to my nephew and this was offending and freaking me out. and I also told the churches and nuns "we won't be back I got the message about warbrokes bastard whore kid walking over me" and my resentment is as strong as ever towards the catholics at st mary;s ipswich and carmelites because silence never helped me and they were abusive to my father at their job network anyway. and I just feel the catholic church blantantly obviously let me down compared to their helping my sister and brother and I told them so!

just feeling like life is hopeless. was supposed to go out yesterday to a show and today to a show a...

like I can see the game cookie del rosario is playing on me, with emma at the immigration and all her xray nephews and she was trying to sleaze into the whole thing with my high tea pastry chef friend emma and then cookie del rosario gonzalez who is already married was trying to get more men stealing men for her filipeno slutty whore niece and other little slutties on me and I am awake up to her game. and I even have wondered if jenny isn't sexually abusing my nephew aaron.

like I can see the game cookie del rosario is playing on me, with emma at the immigration and all he...

i went to have a massage and this asian woman exposed by breasts and I just didn't feel comfortable about it, she massaged my tummy and around my breast area not my breasts themselves but it just didn't feel right. I once had a hawaiin massage or what they call lomi massage and same thing but they did massage my breasts and I just didn't like the feeling being touched by a woman there hell I don't even go for a lot of breast checks and prefer just a ultrasound on my breasts to avoid too much radiation exposure now cuz I went through so much of it when I was sick. but I love massage and gua sha so much. its the best massage all over and on the face if you are in pain it feels sore and I bruised in places but it felt great. I get a lot of heal tendonitis sometimes and sciatica and back and neck pain and sinus pain and migraine scalp headache to the point I feel like i will vomit and massage helps a lot.

i went to have a massage and this asian woman exposed by breasts and I just didn't feel comfortable ...