what is sexual fulfilment? I never experienced that.

I vomitted that much today I have a phobia of vomitting. I have phobias over medications and won't take un-necessary pills but I do take suppliments I dose up a lot on tonics for the liver and vitamins and whatever. the salt scrubs have helped and so has the gua sha. I have exercise equipment at home as well but lack of motivation - I hate the neighbors watching what I am doing. wish I had a huge fence right around for privacy. or just move to a posher place. I hate it here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga85sSRpWRQ I won't take anti-inflammatories unless really bad. I know people think its funny I have had this, I think that is because of the trauma of child sexual abuse that I have this. which is why I don't want a ken loser spastic around me again! I didn't want sex with the idiot in the first place. who would? !

I vomitted that much today I have a phobia of vomitting. I have phobias over medications and won't t...

When I was 12 I walked in on my best friend's dad masturbating. It was an accident, I ran into her parents bedroom to get something, just as I had done many times before, only this time her dad was laying on the bed, with no pants on, masturbating. I stopped and froze just staring at his hand holding his erect penis. I had never seen a real adult penis before much less an erect one on a man I had known a good part of my childhood. I guess he thought the door had been locked because he was as stunned as I was. For some unknown reason I didn't scream or cry out or run out of the room. I just stood there frozen, staring, unable to take my eyes off of it. After what seemed like an eternity but was probably only about a minute, He began masturbating again. I still didn't leave, I just watched. I knew him, I had known him for a long time and I wasn't scared. I never felt like I was in any danger. I was just fascinated. After about two or three more minutes he began moving his hand faster and breathing heavier. Then all of the sudden he climaxed (a word I did not know at the time). His semen shot out all over his hand and onto the carpet. I never took my eyes off of his hand or his erection. When he was through he picked up a towel lying next to him and began to wipe himself off. I has slowly started to walk out of the room when he called out my name. When I stopped and turned to look at him he just said thank you. I never told my best friend, or anyone what I had watched. A few months later I found myself alone with him again at her house and he asked if I wanted to watch again. I don't know why but I said yes. I did and over the next year I watched him masturbate 5 or 6 times and found myself anxiously awaiting the next time. He never tried to touch me or anything. Then one day it stopped. Neither of us have spoken about it since. I will never forget it or him. I want to thank him the way he thanked me after the first time.

When I was 12 I walked in on my best friend's dad masturbating. It was an accident, I ran into her p...

So back in California for the longest time I wanted to lose my virginity, and having the most horrible luck with women I did the unthinkable and called an escort, I've tried to do so before but I always choked until that one time in California. She's a BBW Escort, and while awkward as it was it was nice, she used a condom when we tried to have s** but I couldn't really feel using the condom when being inside her and she wouldn't without it, which is understandable. Though I felt her mouth on my bare member and man did it feel good, I even fulfilled my fantasy of putting it between her large b******, I didn't release as much as I thought I would but as awkward as it was it was nice, I just wish I had another session with her before I left for Kentucky deep down, however that would all change when I called an escort in my new state... About a few weeks after I moved I called around to find an escort near me and did in this petite beauty for an outcall, however the taxi picking her up was not great to her so I had to come to her (no pun intended). In return however I got to spend time with not only her but her younger sister as well for an hour. I was very nervous but it was so hot having them both give me a BBBJ, then the big sister put her condom on me and took me on top, sliding her very tight p**** down on my c***. Unlike in California I felt how hot and tight she was as she rode me while I made out with her sister and sucked her t***, I came rather quick but plentiful in the condom. Afterwards she had to run an errand so I spend the rest of the time getting sucked on by her sister, I wish I popped for her but couldn't give out anymore, in hindsight I wish I took her offer to do a*** but was VERY nervous about that. We hugged and that was that for now, however I had a taste and that egged me on in my mind and desires. I needed to fulfill my fantasy and desire as risky as it is, at that point only Big Sister was working by herself at that point and set a date for a night over a month later... My desire? I wanted to have Bareback S**, I wanted it more then anything else and more...I wanted to c** inside her p****, that was my fantasy ever since I was young to have Raw S**, to have my c*** pulse and twitch inside a woman and release my seed deep inside...thankfully for me she offered it. Now I know what all of you are thinking on how stupid it is and how I shouldn't do that, that I shouldn't take her word that she gets regularly tested, however I could tell deep that she told me the truth, she is around her early 30s and doesn't bull. She's all heart and to be honest I really like her, I know that's stupid to crush on an escort but I just can't have s** with people I don't have an emotional attachment, I know I'm weird but let me go on. So, we met and she recognized me, we hugged and talked, we got ready and since I was a returning customer, she trusted me as I told her I'm clean, that I don't really have s**. So Bareback and A*** we're available, a dangerous combo but still I couldn't resist her. We fooled and played around, I went down on her too, I wasn't as shy about that as I thought I would be and rather enjoy it actually, kissing her thighs, licking them with her deepest parts that my short, wide tongue could go, but I couldn't take it anymore, I told her I needed to have her. I was really nervous, however she then told me I can do whatever I want...and that her tubes were tied...I lost my inhibitions after that. It felt so good and tight, so hot, wet, I f***** her somewhat slowly but I had barely any control over myself, I lasted quite awhile for my real first time, being inside her bare p****. Eventually I told her that I was close and I asked her where to c**, inside me...oh thank you so much, I want to come inside you. I lost my mind and pound her faster and faster until I fulfilled my fantasy, I came inside her. It was incredible, she grind her hips with me on top of her, I saw my seed ooze out of her. it was wonderful. Me being a rather husky guy I'm glad there we're no problems, was really worried if I was too heavy on top of her but it turns out I can hold my weight quite well during s**. Anyway after clean up and cuddling I felt a little bit down but I got in the mood for round two, her on top of me I slowed my pace and asked her if I can do her in her ass, that too was bareback...and yes I came in her ass too, No control, just pure pleasure and no inhibitions. It's been months but I want to see her again, maybe even have s** with her sister. But I want Big Sister, I still think about her and want to see her soon, I'm on a slope I know but until then I'm going to relieve myself till then, I can't wait to see her again my little petite crush and her soft big ass, as a person she is sweet and amazing, I'd want her if I could but hey, I'm weird like that. Later Perverts!

So back in California for the longest time I wanted to lose my virginity, and having the most horrib...