When I was a kid I touched my best friends cat in the genitals. Then, around the same age I touched my sisters dogs genitals. When I was 19 I exposed myself to my cat and pulled her closer to my body. I have never wanted to take something back this badly. I feel like I'm not a human anymore. I forgot about these incidents for years. I am just starting to remember what I did and it's haunting me. I wish I would just tell someone but they kill people like me in jail and I don't want to die. Maybe someday I will have the courage to kill myself but I am just getting over the fact that there is no place in society for me. I talk to my cat in my head sometimes and she seems to forgive me on some level but there is this constant presence in my life that says stop trying, give up, kill yourself. I don't want to hurt anyone or anything and I never did. I swear to god I really am a good person. As I grow up I mature into someone who knows when to stop--I'm not even remotely attracted to animals in the first place--but when I was little I just did things without really knowing how much I would be hurting these animals