i am young and was young around 12 my i am male one night my brother came down and encourage me to have sex with him as he didnt know what it was. he was 5. this was my first taste of impurity. to this day i dont blame him. he was just misguided. i blame myself because i encouraged it afterwards. i began to feel strange and looked up sexy naked women in google images. i started to masterbathe. worse than normal masturbathing i would lay down and push against the couch. the insest and porn got worse and worse. i have thankfully mostly stopped the insest ( it was also voluntarry on both ends no rape but that dosent help ) but sometimes he put me there again i still masterbathe to porn and my guilt has never ceased somenights i literally cry to sleep i will never kill myself though. i cant ever do that. i feel guilty not just from sin, but because i messed up a normal young child. he may have healed from that now almost completly but my guilt is endless even if i am forgiven. thank you for listening. i hope i will be forgiven but more i hope he will be forgiven for what i have done. ( this is not under gay because although i am not actually homosexual or bi i dont consider it wrong )