I hate being 'hot' I'm "hot", or so I am told. I am not a narcissist - I do not think I am hot; just others. It disgusts me that strangers will slow down their cars, whistle, make obnoxious noises and gestures at me, and so on. I have never had a guy friend, because I have yet to find a guy who can be friends with me without letting the way I look get in the way. I gained weight intentionally, and even this didn't stop the comments. I am disgusted with society. But most of all, I'm lonely. Boys just see me as an object; girls often resent me. I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but I truly wish I looked "average", whatever that is. Then, perhaps, I'd have some true friends.