🔥 i4giveu

I'm losing my mind. For about 2 months now, the way that my mind processes thoughts has completely changed. It started with a conversation with my boyfriend, when I said that sometimes, random thoughts (sexual ones) about guys that I don't actually have any interest in would pop into my mind, like a subconscious thing. He was really upset by it, and we had a big fight. Now, I feel like those thoughts are vile and disgusting, and if I have them, my brain tells me that I'm disgusting for thinking that. Every time I have one of these thoughts, I have a panic attack until I come clean and tell my boyfriend what happened, even though he says it's not a big deal, and he over-reacted initially. These thoughts are normal, according to everyone that I've talked to, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I don't remember how my brain used to function, and every time I have s** with my boyfriend, all I do is try so hard to concentrate and not think about other guys that my brain doesn't even let me enjoy the s**. I love my boyfriend a lot, and I just want things to go back to normal. I'd never cheat on him or anything, and if I have a thought, I just wwant my brain to pass it off as nothing and forget about it, but it lingers in my brain and consumes me to the point where I can't focus on anything anymore. I haven't been able to go to class, or take notes like I normally do, or even eat. Every time I eat, I have a small panic attack and feel like I might throw up. I'm going to counseling, but nothing seems to be helping. I don't remember how I used to think, and I don't know why my brain won't let me forget anything ever. I hate this. I want it to stop.

MarriageSex
I'm losing my mind. For about 2 months now, the way that my mind processes thoughts has completely changed. It started with a conversation with my boyfriend, when I said that sometimes, random thoughts (sexual ones) about guys that I don't actually have any interest in would pop into my mind, like a subconscious thing. He was really upset by it, and we had a big fight. Now, I feel like those thoughts are vile and disgusting, and if I have them, my brain tells me that I'm disgusting for thinking that. Every time I have one of these thoughts, I have a panic attack until I come clean and tell my boyfriend what happened, even though he says it's not a big deal, and he over-reacted initially. These thoughts are normal, according to everyone that I've talked to, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I don't remember how my brain used to function, and every time I have s** with my boyfriend, all I do is try so hard to concentrate and not think about other guys that my brain doesn't even let me enjoy the s**. I love my boyfriend a lot, and I just want things to go back to normal. I'd never cheat on him or anything, and if I have a thought, I just wwant my brain to pass it off as nothing and forget about it, but it lingers in my brain and consumes me to the point where I can't focus on anything anymore. I haven't been able to go to class, or take notes like I normally do, or even eat. Every time I eat, I have a small panic attack and feel like I might throw up. I'm going to counseling, but nothing seems to be helping. I don't remember how I used to think, and I don't know why my brain won't let me forget anything ever. I hate this. I want it to stop.
20

Next post in 20s

Will redirect automatically

This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

More from 'Marriage' category

I'm so confused I've been married for nearly 5 years and have 2 children... my boy is 5 and my little girl is 2. I love my family to bits, and my wife and I have gone through so much, especially with my rough upbringing. The trouble i'm having is that my wife is my second real love and is the third person I've ever slept with, my first was my first girlfriend, second I went to a prostitue and my wife third, so my sexual experience is not the best. I have picked up alot by watching p***, but it's not the same as the real thing. I love having s** with my wife but sometimes i wish I was having s** with someone else. If that opportunity ever comes along my heart is telling me no but my head is saying yes!!! I don't want to break up my marriage, but I do want to experience and have s** with other women... I almost feel like a part of me is incomplete until i get to do this. Some will call me a loser, or a d***...or a cheater... whatever you call me I'm not bothered because all I want right now is to know what other people think and what I should do???

I'm so confused I've been married for nearly 5 years and have 2 children... my boy is 5 and my littl...

AdulteryMarriage

She doesn't even know My husband and I shared a hotel room with a friend of mine after a concert last week, She in her bed and us in ours. We were in bed for a bit and everything was quiet, My husband was snuggled up behind me and had somehow gotten his wiener out and was poking me from behind with it, I was a bit drunk and figured why not, I let him work my pants down to my knees and slid into me from behind, I pulled the covers up to my neck and he grabbed my b***. My husband was very slowly sliding in and out and just when things were getting good my friend rolled over and whispered Pst, Are you awake?, We stopped and laid still and I don't know why but I whispered back Yes. She told me she couldn't sleep and asked if my husband was asleep, I told her he was and she whispering back and forth, I didn't want to move or anything and my husband just laid there, I was actually kind of impressed how hard he was staying and how he was able to just lay there and not move, I don't remember what she said but it made me giggle and he later told me that it was the muscles inside tensing up and releasing that finished it. Actually a really weird feeling when you have nothing else to concentrate on other than your husband coming inside you, he laid there until he went soft enough that he basically slipped out of me, My friend yawned a few minutes later and rolled over saying goodnight and I got up to go pee and clean up, When I got back both of them were snoring and I was left to have to take care of myself in the bathroom :( She has no idea what happened and its kind of funny, just thought I would share.

She doesn't even know My husband and I shared a hotel room with a friend of mine after a concert las...

AdulteryMarriage

Return to Sender Return to sender, return to sender I gave a letter to the postman, he put it his sack Bright in early next morning, he brought my letter back She wrote upon it Return to sender, address unknown No such number, no such zone We had a quarrel, a lover's spat I write I'm sorry but my letter keeps coming back So then I dropped it in the mailbox and sent it special D Bright in early next morning it came right back to me She wrote upon it Return to sender, address unknown No such person, no such zone This time I'm gonna take it myself and put it right in her hand And if it comes back the very next day then I'll understand The writing on it Return to sender, address unknown No such number, no such zone Return to sender, return to sender Return to sender, return to sender

Return to Sender Return to sender, return to sender I gave a letter to the postman, he put it his sa...

AdulteryPrideMurderLoveLieAbuseHateViolenceGayHackingStealingMarriageBlasphemySex