These days seem to blur together with only anger and sadness anymore my heart hurts and I want to cry constantly. My boyfriend is great and all...... but the thing is.....he's just so.... idk he's distant... we rarely talk we rarely get intimate...I take care of HIS kid all day every day without so much as a thank you baby I know he's not yours but you've been mommy to him for the past 10 months...it's like I don't even matter anymore... half the time I cry mself to sleep at night begging whatever force there is at work to just let me die already. I can't handle it. Every day I gind a new reason to say I hate myself, I hate my life, or I can't do anything right. I'm a fuck up. My own pain chokes me every night from the tears I cry and the ones that don't get to come out because I always have so many left. My heart physically aches every day I wake up because I know what's in store for me... dont get me wromg there are good days but they come few and far between...