These days seem to blur together with only anger and sadness anymore my heart hurts and I want to cry constantly. My boyfriend is great and all...... but the thing is.....he's just so.... idk he's distant... we rarely talk we rarely get intimate...I take care of HIS kid all day every day without so much as a thank you baby I know he's not yours but you've been mommy to him for the past 10 months...it's like I don't even matter anymore... half the time I cry mself to sleep at night begging whatever force there is at work to just let me die already. I can't handle it. Every day I gind a new reason to say I hate myself, I hate my life, or I can't do anything right. I'm a fuck up. My own pain chokes me every night from the tears I cry and the ones that don't get to come out because I always have so many left. My heart physically aches every day I wake up because I know what's in store for me... dont get me wromg there are good days but they come few and far between...

These days seem to blur together with only anger and sadness anymore my heart hurts and I want to cry constantly. My boyfriend is great and all...... but the thing is.....he's just so.... idk he's distant... we rarely talk we rarely get intimate...I take care of HIS kid all day every day without so much as a thank you baby I know he's not yours but you've been mommy to him for the past 10 months...it's like I don't even matter anymore... half the time I cry mself to sleep at night begging whatever force there is at work to just let me die already. I can't handle it. Every day I gind a new reason to say I hate myself, I hate my life, or I can't do anything right. I'm a fuck up. My own pain chokes me every night from the tears I cry and the ones that don't get to come out because I always have so many left. My heart physically aches every day I wake up because I know what's in store for me... dont get me wromg there are good days but they come few and far between...
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For 25 years I was my father's sex toy. From age 7 he used me sexually. Making me give him head. He took my virginity when I was 9, he demand sex several times a day. When my periods started my ass was fucked. He forced me do every disgusting sex act you can think of. Using my pussy, mouth and ass for what ever got him off. He passed me around to other men, made me fuck dogs and made me do porn to earn money turn me in to a BDSM slave. The worst part is he trained my body to always cum while doing these fucking things. It got to the point that no matter how he used me I began having squirting orgasms. One time in a mall I was 15 and looked at another boy, he pulled me aside and slapped hard several times and I came soaking my mini skirt. He never let me wear panties so my skirt was completely wet, then he made me walk to parking lot . I was so humiliated stand there waiting for the elevator I came again as he had trained me to be a bottom how craved humiliation. Last winter he died, and I was free. But at 33 I'm completely fuck up. I never went to high school or had friends. And have no family. I've tried sex with a dozen men since he died, but I can't cum or get wet. The bastard has made it impossible to cum without him. I hate him for making me this way. But I hate myself even more for wanting his touch again, for wanting to be abused by him for being a worthless slave in love with her master. Why did you have to die Daddy, I miss you so much.

For 25 years I was my father's sex toy. From age 7 he used me sexually. Making me give him head. He ...

I've been at fat girl all my life. When I was only seven I weighed 120 pounds. Unfortunately for me a lot of it was in my tits, I could wearing a C-cup bra. Also my mother was only 14 when she had me and was very bad drunk who drank herself to death by the time I was 12. At age 4 my father and 3 half brothers from his first wife were regularly molesting me at night. And with my huge tits they had me naked most of the time. Sucking them and fingering me all the time. Dad was the worst, he finally took my virginity at 7. I had been giving them all head each night for years. My oldest brother had used me anally since age 8. When I was 11 the four of them started all fucking me bareback every night. Finally at 14 they knocked me up. As all 4 of them came in each night, I didn't know who was the father. From age 14 until 20, I was pregnant 5 times and had all girls. I never went to high school, by 22, dad and my brothers had mostly forgot about me and had started on my daughters. I would mostly grabbed by the hair and forced to give head and swallow. Then pushed away like I was a whore. The oldest girl was 8 and the youngest 2. Dad took them and my brothers the other 3. Then one day, all 4 of them attacked me at once, they gang raped me for a day. In a drunken and drug fueled attack, they used their cocks, dildos, and a baseball bat rapeing me over and over, even when i passed out. Then they dumped me on the floor, I was bleeding from my pussy and ass. By that point, they were passed out from all the drugs and booze. I knew i had only one chance. I was in agony but showered and dressed. I stole the 40k in cash dad had from selling drugs. And my late mother documents I could pass for her in fact. I took their car keys. I also stole their cell phones and computers sell. I cut the houses phone line. And took off in one car, which I dumped in another state. I cried as I drove away knowing my girls would face what I had and be cintinue to be used for sex. But I knew I would die if I stayed. 25 years have passed now. I live a Western state, with a great man and a wonderful daughter we adopted. We live off the grid and limited internet access. I'm writing this at an internet café, in a town 70 miles from our home. He thinks I'm 61, but I'm only 49. I still have nightmares of that old life and what my children had to do. I wonder did that animal of father impregnate his own grandchildren? Did my half brother do the same to their daughters. I'll never know, I covered my tracks very well. Changed my looks lost weight and dyed my hair brown. Living quietly has given me the peace and protection I needed.

I've been at fat girl all my life. When I was only seven I weighed 120 pounds. Unfortunately for me ...